Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

by Shelle Rose Charvet

reacts only to the content of what you say doesn't "pick up the pencil" doesn't notice or respond to your voice tone little or no facial expression or voice variation Other responds to both content and nonverbal aspects of the communication will nod head, move body, say "uh-huh", etc., as a response animated (for their culture)

when you are in someone's home and cannot find your salad fork, without your having to ask, does one of your hosts notice your dilemma and go get you one? A Self person would not

have noticed that you needed one. You would have had to ask for it.

focus on what is being said, and how they themselves feel about it, without noticing the nuances of nonverbal communication, and so may feel quite comfortable.

can evaluate the communication, by unconsciously picking up body-language cues and listening to tone of voice.

in communication with a Self person, might feel more uncomfortable because of the absence of the nonverbal responses by...

the quality of the rapport that you established is just as i...

the substance of what you are co...

tend not to notice the level of rapport you have with them, so you will need to be absolutely rigorous in the presentation...

Influencing Language

Pay attention to your content because the relationship is not what they filter for. Be totally rigorous in what you say.

It might be helpful for you to invite colleagues with whom you have a good relationship, to let you know verbally what they are feeling in cases where you might have missed something important.