Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

by Shelle Rose Charvet

Examples Toward: I would get personal satisfaction and a promotion." Mainly Toward: I would get a promotion, personal satisfaction, make more money and not have to go on the road Equally Toward and Away From: "I would get personal satisfaction and not have to go on the road." Mainly Away From: "I would not have all this routine work, or be away from my family often, plus, I would get a promotion." Away From: " I would get away from this boring work, all the deadlines, and my boss who keeps looking over my shoulder." Suggestion: Ask the questions in a series or laddering approach, as follows: SRC: Adam, what do you want in your work? (Criteria) Adam: I want to be effective, more proficient, fun and taken seriously. SRC: All right, Adam, why is having that important? Adam: To help people. SRC: To help people. And why is that important? Adam: Because I get satisfaction from helping people. SRC: So why is that important? Adam: Well, that's what I want from a job. Here's a different example: SRC: Joanne, what do you want in a job? Joanne: I like to know what I have to do, and to be evaluated based on my own performance. SRC: Why is that important? Joanne: It gives me a sense of calm. SRC: And why is that important? Joanne: If I'm not calm with myself, I can't be calm with my kids. SRC: And why is that important? Joanne: It keeps me from hitting my kids.