Disciplines of a Godly Man

by R. Kent Hughes

Men, we will never get anywhere spiritually without a conscious divestment of the things that are holding us back.

A face lit by a luminous screen is a study in passivity. Fleeting images, intermingled with the thousand commercials and banner ads of an average week’s viewing, instill passiveness. There is no time for engagement or reflection, much less action.

There are guys, voyeurs, who have substituted viewing for doing and imagine that they have scored a touchdown or taken a hill by virtue of having watched it—passive living legends in their own inert minds.

It was the breaking of the tenth commandment (coveting his neighbor’s wife) that led David to commit adultery, thus breaking the seventh commandment. Then, in order to steal his neighbor’s wife (thereby breaking the eighth commandment), he committed murder and broke the sixth commandment. He broke the ninth commandment by bearing false witness against his brother. This all brought dishonor to his parents and thus broke the fifth commandment.

His baby died. His beautiful daughter, Tamar, was raped by her half-brother Amnon. Amnon was murdered by Tamar’s full brother Absalom. Absalom came to so hate his father David for his moral turpitude that he led a rebellion under the tutelage of Bathsheba’s resentful grandfather, Ahithophel. David’s reign lost the smile of God. His throne never regained its former stability.

The record of the tragic fall of King David is God-given and should be taken seriously by the church in this “Corinthian age” as a warning regarding the pathology of the human factors that lead to a moral fall: The desensitization that happens through the conventional sensualities of culture The deadly syndrome that comes through moral relaxation of discipline The blinding effects of sensual fixation The rationalization of those in the grip of lust

Memorization Next, fill yourself with God’s Word through the discipline of memorization. Our Lord set the example par excellence in rebuffing Satan’s temptations with three precise quotations from the Old Testament Scriptures (cf. Matt. 4:1–11). The psalmist said, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word” (Ps. 119:9), and, “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (v. 11). Of course, he was referring to all of God’s Word, not just the passages that deal with sensuality. Nevertheless, I have seen the disciplined memorization of 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8 change a man’s life. (Other helpful passages include Job 31:1; Prov. 6:27; Mark 9:42ff.; Eph. 5:3–7; and 2 Tim. 2:22, some of which I comment on below.)

Christian marriage vows are the inception of a lifelong practice of death, of giving over not only all you have, but all you are.

Men, you ought to have a list of your wives’ needs, spoken and unspoken, that you passionately hold up to God out of love for them. Praying is the marital work of a Christian husband!

“Marriage is not an achievement which is finished. It is a dynamic process between two people, a relation which is constantly being changed, which grows or dies.”8

The truth is, marriages that depend on being “in love” fall apart. Couples who look back to the wild promises they vowed in the marriage ceremony are the ones who make it. There is no substitute for covenant plus commitment.

Some fathers exasperate their children by being overly strict and controlling. They need to remember that rearing children is like holding a wet bar of soap—too firm a grasp and it shoots from your hand, too loose a grip and it slides away. A gentle but firm hold keeps you in control.

Life is sometimes like the cartoon that shows a boss who is grouchy toward a worker; his employee, in turn, comes home and is irritable with the children; his son then kicks the dog; the dog runs down the street and bites the first person he sees—the boss!

Favoritism was the damning sin of Isaac, who favored Esau over Jacob. Ironically, it was also the damning sin of Jacob, who favored Joseph over his brothers. Like favoring father, like rejected son! How crushing, how disheartening to know that you are less favored—less loved.

The apostle Paul experienced similar comfort from his friend Titus: “But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus . . . so that I rejoiced still more” (2 Cor. 7:6–7). This is the “Titus Touch”—the golden touch of an encouraging friend.

The dizzying potential of the human mind reaches its apex in the possibility of possessing the mind of Christ through the ministry of the Holy Spirit—a possibility affirmed by Paul when he said, “But we have the mind of Christ”—a mind that is constantly renewed (cf. 1 Cor. 2:16; Rom. 12:2). No computer will ever be able to think God’s thoughts and no device will ever be able to know the heart of God or do his works. But the mystery that resides between our ears has this capacity. Indeed, it was created for this—to have the mind of Christ.

So we must lay down as fundamental to our Christianity this truth: a Christian mind demands conscious negation; a Christian mind is impossible without the discipline of refusal.

Renowned media expert Neil Postman of New York University said that between the ages of six and eighteen, the average child spends some fifteen thousand to sixteen thousand hours in front of a TV, whereas he spends only thirteen thousand hours in school.8 Postman said that during the first twenty years of an American child’s life, he will see some one million commercials, at the rate of about a thousand per week!9 As to television’s effects, they are infamous: Shortened attention spans Diminution of linguistic powers Reduced capacity for abstraction

You must remember this: you can never have a Christian mind without reading or listening to the Scriptures regularly because you cannot be profoundly influenced by that which you do not know. If you are filled with God’s Word, your life can then be informed and directed by God—your domestic relationships, your child-rearing, your career, your ethical decisions, and your interior moral life. The way to a Christian mind is through God’s Word!

As Lucy told Charlie Brown in a Peanuts comic strip: “I just completed a course in speed-reading and last night I read War and Peace in one hour! . . . It was about Russia.”

1. What are the five books, secular or sacred, that have influenced you the most? 2. Of the spiritual/sacred books that have influenced you, which is your favorite? 3. What is your favorite novel? 4. What is your favorite biography?

The mind is greater than all the computers put together, for it can possess the mind of Christ and think God’s thoughts after him, wear his heart, and do his works. What an eternal tragedy it is, then, to have this mind and have it redeemed, yet not have a Christian mind.

Resources for Further Growth Books The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment (Tim Challies) Habits of the Mind (James W. Sire) How to Think (Alan Jacobs) Lit! A Christian Guide to Reading Books (Tony Reinke) Renewing Your Mind in a Mindless World (James Montgomery Boice) Think (John Piper) Other Resources Bible Reading Plans Robert Murray M’Cheyne’s Bible Reading Calendar, https://www.mcheyne.info/calendar.pdf (created by a Scottish minister in the nineteenth century, this Bible reading plan has helped many Christians for many years). Other plans, https://www.esv.org/resources/reading-plans/.

The more we expose our lives to the white-hot sun of his righteous life (for, say, five, ten, fifteen, or thirty minutes, or an hour a day), the more his image will be burned into our character—his love, his compassion, his truth, his integrity, his humility.

If I throw out a boathook from the boat and catch hold of the shore and pull, do I pull the shore to me, or do I pull myself to the shore? Prayer is not pulling God to my will, but the aligning of my will to the will of God.1

All Christians should be systematically reading through the Bible, once a year if possible, so that our minds are being perpetually programmed by the data of Scripture.

Larger segments, especially classic texts, are tailor-made for meditation. The Ten Commandments, with the first four Godward commands and the six manward injunctions following, should be regularly murmured in reverent self-examination (cf. Ex. 20:1–17; Deut. 5:1–22). There are eight Beatitudes that consecutively consider poverty of spirit, mourning over sin, gentleness, spiritual hunger, mercy, purity, peacemaking, and persecution (Matt. 5:3–12). The Lord’s Prayer begins with the foundational awareness “Our Father in heaven,” then presents three upward petitions and three horizontal petitions—a perfect pattern for prayer and meditation (Matt. 6:9–13). There are endless possibilities, including the so-called kenosis passage, Philippians 2:5–11, which begins, “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus . . .” Other food for meditation includes Jesus’s parables, the Psalms, and the epigrams of James. Both practical and esoteric passages can provide divine substance for reverent soul chatter.

Luther said, “To let your face blabber one thing while your heart dwells on another is just tempting God. . . . Any and every thing, if it is to be well done, demands the entire man, all his mind and faculties.”

At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus enjoined his followers to prayerful tenacity: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matt. 7:7). The language is unusually compelling because the three verbs (“ask . . . seek . . . knock . . .”) indicate an ascending intensity. “Ask” implies requesting assistance for a conscious need. It also suggests humility, for the Greek word here was commonly used by one approaching a superior. “Seek” involves asking, but adds action. The idea is not just to express need, but to get up and look around for help. “Knock” includes asking, plus seeking, plus persevering—for example, one who keeps pounding on a closed door. The stacking of these verbs is powerful, and the fact that they are present imperatives gives them even more punch. Jesus’s words actually read: “Keep on asking, and it will be given to you; keep on seeking, and you will find; keep on knocking, and it will be opened to you.”

In this respect, Dr. J. Sidlow Baxter once shared a page from his own pastoral diary with a group of pastors who had inquired about the discipline of prayer. He began by telling how in 1928 he entered the ministry determined he would be the “most Methodist-Baptist” of pastors, a real man of prayer. However, it was not long before his increasing pastoral responsibilities, administrative duties, and the subtle subterfuges of pastoral life began to crowd prayer out. Moreover, he began to get used to it, making excuses for himself. Then one morning it all came to a head as he stood over his work-strewn desk and looked at his watch. The voice of the Spirit was calling him to pray. At the same time another velvety little voice was telling him to be practical and get his letters answered, and that he ought to face up to the fact that he was not one of the “spiritual sort”—only a few people could be like that. “That last remark,” says Baxter, “hurt like a dagger blade. I could not bear to think it was true.” He was horrified by his ability to rationalize away the very ground of his ministerial vitality and power. That morning Baxter took a good look into his heart and found that there was a part of him that did not want to pray and a part that did. The part that did not was his emotions; the part that did was his intellect and will. This analysis paved the way to victory. In Baxter’s own inimitable words:

As never before, my will and I stood face to face. I asked my will the straight question, “Will, are you ready for an hour of prayer?” Will answered, “Here I am, and I’m quite ready, if you are.” So Will and I linked arms and turned to go for our time of prayer. At once all the emotions began pulling the other way and protesting, “We are not coming.” I saw Will stagger just a bit, so I asked, “Can you stick it out, Will?” and Will replied, “Yes, if you can.” So Will went, and we got down to prayer, dragging those wriggling, obstreperous emotions with us. It was a struggle all the way through. At one point, when Will and I were in the middle of an earnest intercession, I suddenly found one of those traitorous emotions had snared my imagination and had run off to the golf course; and it was all I could do to drag the wicked rascal back. A bit later I found another of the emotions had sneaked away with some off-guard thoughts and was in the pulpit, two days ahead of schedule, preaching a sermon that I had not yet finished preparing! At the end of that hour, if you had asked me, “Have you had a ‘good time’?” I would have had to reply, “No, it has been a wearying wrestle with contrary emotions and a truant imagination from beginning to end.” What is more, that battle with the emotions continued for between two and three weeks, and if you had asked me at the end of that period, “Have you had a ‘good time’ in your daily praying?” I would have had to confess, “No, at times it has ...

Books The Book of Common Prayer Enjoy Your Prayer Life (Michael Reeves) The Essentials of Prayer (E. M. Bounds) The Hidden Life of Prayer (David McIntyre) Prayer (Timothy Keller) The Prayer of Our Lord (Philip Graham Ryken) Praying the Bible (Donald Whitney) A Praying Life (Paul Miller) The Valley of Vision (Various)

Resources for Further Growth Books A Better Way (Michael Horton) The Family Worship Book (Terry L. Johnson) Engaging with God (David G. Peterson) How to Worship Jesus Christ (Joseph Carroll) A Neglected Grace (Jason Helopoulos) Sing! (Keith and Kristyn Getty) True Worshipers (Bob Kauflin) Worship Matters (Bob Kauflin)

We must let God’s Word draw the line, not culture. The elevated ethics of Holy Scripture must be kept at all costs, even though culture thinks them quaint and impossible. And we must discipline ourselves through the power of the Holy Spirit to maintain them.

Integrity flows more out of a disciplined character than a daring personality.18

Resources for Further Growth Books The Art of Turning (Kevin DeYoung) Christian Ethics (Wayne Grudem) Conscience (Andrew David Naselli and J. D. Crowley) Delighting in the Law of the Lord (Jerram Barrs) How Should We Then Live? (Francis Schaeffer) The Power of Integrity (John MacArthur) When People Are Big and God Is Small (Ed Welch)

Resources for Further Growth Books Good and Angry (David Powlison) The Peacemaker (Ken Sande) Resisting Gossip (Matthew C. Mitchell) Respectable Sins (Jerry Bridges) A Small Book about a Big Problem (Edward T. Welch) War of Words (Paul David Tripp)

You may feel you are in a “nothing job.” Because of the curse, your job may involve painful toil and yield little satisfaction. But you can glorify God where you are by your heart attitude. You may feel your occupation is not holy, but it is if you see it so and do it for God’s glory. You are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works that God planned in advance for you. Men, everything about your work must be directed toward him—your attitudes, your integrity, your intensity, and your skill.

Men, we are to work as we did as boys when we knew our father was watching, because our heavenly Father is watching—always!

Resources for Further Growth Books The Call (Os Guinness) Crazy Busy (Kevin DeYoung) Do More Better (Tim Challies) Every Good Endeavor (Timothy Keller) God at Work (Gene Edward Veith Jr.) Gospel at Work (Sebastian Traeger and Greg Gilbert) Just Do Something (Kevin DeYoung) What’s Best Next? (Matt Perman) Work Matters (Tom Nelson) Work and Our Labor in the Lord (James M. Hamilton Jr.)

The scriptural command calls for extreme actions. If we are to finish well in the faith, we must strip our souls naked of “every weight, and sin which clings so closely.”

We each have a specific race mapped out for us; the course for each runner is unique. Its uniqueness is determined by God, who charts it while factoring in who you and I are right now as to our giftedness, background, responsibilities, age, health—and most of all who we are in Christ. Your race is like no one else’s. It is marked out for you where you are as a student, a single, or a parent.

Biblical perseverance that refuses to be deflected, overcomes obstacles and delays, and is not stopped by discouragement within or opposition without is available to us all.

Those who look away from Christ—the end and goal of our race—will not finish well. And this was exactly what was happening to some treading the stormy waters around the early church. They had begun to take their eyes off Christ and to fix them instead on the hardships challenging them. Some had begun to look elsewhere for answers. The author of Hebrews called them to regain their focus on Jesus.

Resources for Further Growth Books 12 Faithful Men (Collin Hansen and Jeff Robinson, eds.) The Roots of Endurance (John Piper) Run to Win (Tim Challies) Run to Win the Prize (Thomas R. Schreiner)

Hearing the Word Your soul needs to regularly feed on the milk of the Word. Nothing can replace listening in the company of fellow believers week after week to the live systematic exposition of God’s Word as the Holy Spirit does his unique work upon the souls of his gathered people. Listening to a podcast of the same sermon may be helpful, but it is not the same as listening with the body of Christ. Don’t ever let solitary listening to the latest and greatest speaker on his weekly podcast replace your time of listening to live preaching of the Word in the company of God’s people.

Resources for Further Growth Books 9 Marks of a Healthy Church (Mark Dever) The Church (Edmund Clowney) Life Together (Dietrich Bonhoeffer) Listen Up! (Christopher Ash) Uncomfortable (Brett McCracken) What Is a Healthy Church Member? (Thabiti Anyabwile) Why Bother with Church? (Sam Allberry) Why We Love the Church (Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck) Your Church Is Too Safe (Mark Buchanan)

Resources for Further Growth Books Called to Lead (John MacArthur) Christian Leadership (John Stott) Christian Leadership Essentials (David S. Dockery) The Conviction to Lead (Albert Mohler) The Heart of a Servant Leader (C. John Miller) Pursuing Peace (Robert D. Jones) The Shepherd Leader (Timothy Z. Witmer) Spiritual Leadership (J. Oswald Sanders)

Twenty-five years later, in 1948, the picture was much different. Charles Schwab had died bankrupt after living on borrowed money for the last five years of his life. Samuel Insull had died a fugitive from justice, penniless in a foreign land. Howard Hopson was insane. Arthur Cutten had died abroad, insolvent. Richard Whitney had just been released from Sing Sing prison. Albert Fall had just been pardoned from prison so he could die at home. Jesse Livermore had died by suicide, as had Leon Fraser and Ivar Kreuger. All these men, masters of finance, had been mastered by wealth!

when all one has is given to God, giving to others becomes the natural reflex of the soul.