Upside Down

by N.R. Walker

We see repeatedly, we’re told repeatedly, it’s shown, it’s implied, it’s blatant that sex equals love. That we’re not complete without it. That sexual intimacy is the pinnacle of all relationship goals.”

He just became a twelve on the scale of one to ten on perfection.”

“Flowers for Algernon.” There was a long beat of silence. “Oh.” “I know, right?” “That explains the tears.” I sighed happily. “It does. It tells me so much about him.

What we don’t know is if he’s seeing someone, dating, or married even. Or what he does for a living.” “What difference does his job make?” “What if he’s an undertaker? Or a hitman?” “Undertakers and hitmen need love too, Merry. Probably more than other people.”

All I want really big and rock-hard on a guy is his IQ, and what I consider to be hardcore porn is a picture of a guy reading a book with a hard cover. Soft-core porn is a paperback, and browsing Amazon is my version of PornHub, okay?”

“Well, my superhero name would be something completely awesome. Like Super Book Man but in Latin.” “Super is Latin,” he replied casually. “Etymologically, the Latin word for super is super.” I gasped loud enough the woman in front of us turned around, but I ignored her. “You can’t say that kind of stuff to me. Word porn in public could get embarrassing.” “Word porn?” “The only kind I’m into,” I said, then turned a dozen shades of red.

“Who’s Mrs Mullhearn again?” “She’s our boss. She’s just recently celebrated her 258th birthday, and she’s an expert on Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tales and Merry and I are almost certain it’s because she bound the first editions herself.”

My stupid dick liked the attention, or something, I don’t even know.” He snorted. “I don’t think your dick is stupid.” “Well, I can tell you, it’s no Einstein either,” I replied, and he chuckled.

“Love the dress.” It was purple, and her yellow cardigan and orange shoes somehow kind of all worked. “Thanks!” She said, shoving her hands into the pockets. “It has pockets!”