“So help me Jordan, if he was a no-show and there was no resolution to this freakin’ life-altering question, I’ll be changing my name to River Blossom and moving to Nimbin where I can make hemp-infused soaps, and I’ll grow carrots and smoke purple weed, and you’ll never find me.” “Well, it won’t be hard to find you because you just told me where you’d move to and your new name,” I replied. “And you’d be so high from the weed and vegan pot brownies, I’d only have to follow the pizza delivery guy and he’d lead me straight to you. You’d also probably be glowing orange from all the beta-carotene
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