And how do I say this? How do I say it and have you understand? Maybe there’s no way to say it. I was happy. I was happy that Bessie and Roland would be mine. But, can you understand me? I was sad. I was sad because I wasn’t entirely sure that I wanted them. They had appeared, like magic, but I wasn’t magical. I was messed up. I messed things up. And I knew that having two children, two children who caught on fire, would be hard. It would make me sad. It would be so easy to ruin them. Something was ending. Even if it had been awful, my life was ending, and it felt like this wasn’t my life
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Kids in general lol
