Sometimes the emotions we feel send signals that elicit the opposite of the response we want and need. Picture a typical child: if he’s troubled or anxious, he may wish that his parent or teacher would reach out and offer comfort. But when those adults sense that child’s emotional state, especially when he’s “acting out,” they may respond in just the opposite way, because of their own emotional response to the signals of a negative mood. This dynamic rules much of human interaction—when we need emotional support most is when we’re least likely to receive it.
