Permission to Feel: The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success

by Marc Brackett

schools where we work learn to make fine distinctions, using concepts such as annoyed, aggravated, irritated, livid, and enraged. A feeling is our internal response to an emotion. I’m angry about something that’s happening between us, it’s caused me to give up hope, and I can’t keep going this way. That’s a feeling. It’s nuanced, subtle, multidimensional. When you ask someone how they’re feeling, the answer is sometimes an emotion, such as happy, sad, afraid, angry. But they may also say they’re feeling supported, connected, valued, respected, and appreciated. These words do not refer to emotions per se but are motivational and relationship states that are steeped in emotion. Technically, an athlete doesn’t feel motivated to run a marathon; it’s the athlete’s current and anticipated feelings of joy and pride that motivate him or her to run each day in order to participate in the marathon. We often have more than one emotion at the same time. I’m excited about my new job, and I’m anxious over whether I can handle it. I’m angry at how you’re treating me, and I feel superior because I’ve never treated you so badly. Here’s one I know all too well: The airline lost my luggage, and I’m simultaneously angry over their carelessness, worried because my medicine was in there, embarrassed because I’ll have to attend a meeting dressed in what I wore on the plane, and discouraged because I know they’ll never find my suitcase before my trip is over. We can even have emotions about emoti...

Great Connection possible between vocab of emotions and using descriptor words in writing