“I hate school and I’m never going back!” That’s important information, but only if we know what to do with it. What’s the cause? Is this child afraid of something related to school? Possibly. There are times we hate what we fear. What causes fear? Its underlying theme is danger, threat. So perhaps in this instance hate equals danger, in which case we know the direction our next questions should take. Now when we ask, “What’s happening at school that makes you hate it so much?” we know what to listen for: a potential source of danger. A difficult teacher? An impending bad report card? A
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