Funny, You Don't Look Autistic: A Comedian's Guide to Life on the Spectrum

by Michael McCreary

When you see someone naked in front of you—emotionally or physically—you become very accepting of their vulnerability.

I was taught how to “act normal.” I learned to hold the door for people. I learned to tell the truth, but to understand when it was okay to lie for politeness. I learned to use my manners, not to swear, to respect personal space, and to stop talking when it was time for somebody else to have a turn. And then I got to school. And I discovered that no one else had learned these things.

The simplest definition is that autism is a neurological variation. In less fancy language, it’s a difference in your brain and how it’s wired. You see and process things differently from people who are the norm—what we in the ASD community call neurotypical.

People sometimes use terms like “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” to describe folks on the spectrum, which can be wrongly taken to make assumptions about people’s intelligence. Really, what they’re meant to tell you is to what degree someone can get through their day independently, or how much assistance they might need in their daily lives.

you feel every possible emotion and see every possible outcome of a social situation at once.

People are exhausting, and when your brain is working overtime to try to understand them, it can suck the joy out of socializing.

Having autism is like having too many tabs open on a computer. Or more accurately, it’s like trying to surf the web without an ad blocker. Every time you click on something, another window pops up.

They’re pretending to be nice, but they’re not. Just because someone is smiling and saying nice things doesn’t mean they’re telling the truth.”

Just because you don’t show what you’re feeling, doesn’t mean you aren’t feeling something.

I’ve found many people with ASD have this in common: we obsess about the negative.

Friendship is deeper than having mutual interests. Friendship is setting aside time in your day to help someone forget about life for a while.