Funny, You Don't Look Autistic: A Comedian's Guide to Life on the Spectrum

by Michael McCreary

I met a woman recently and happened to mention that I am autistic. She responded, “That’s ridiculous, you’re doing great!”

What is stronger, how dumb or how patronizing people can be?

about how people with ASD like to refer to themselves. Some autistic people prefer person-first language: “a person with autism.” Others prefer to put the identity first: “autistic person.” I believe that people on both sides want to emphasize the value and worth of the individual. No matter what the person’s point of view, it’s important to respect their choice of terms.

Over the years, there have been a lot of different terms used to define people on the spectrum, including pervasive developmental disorder, high-functioning autism, and Asperger’s syndrome. As of 2013, there are no distinctions. You either have autism or you don’t, and an autistic person is said to have autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

My diagnosis was a life-changing moment—for my folks. As for me, well, I was five years old. I just wanted to get out of there and rent Walking with Dinosaurs from the library, not listen to this doctor who was saying things I couldn’t really comprehend. In hindsight, I wish I had been more grateful. That diagnosis would end up helping me more than I could’ve imagined. It was going to help me navigate school, and understand myself, and eventually figure out my place in the world. So it was a life-changing

This is why diagnosis and early interventio is sooo important. Livi ng without supports gives you a different, harder version of life.

was taught how to “act normal.” I learned to hold the door for people. I learned to tell the truth, but to understand when it was okay to lie for politeness. I learned to use my manners, not to swear, to respect personal space, and to stop talking when it was time for somebody else to have a turn. And then I got to school. And I discovered that no one else had learned these things. It was clear to me that the other parents—the ones with “normal” kids—hadn’t taught their offspring basic etiquette, figuring they’d just pick it up on their own. If their kid didn’t have a diagnosis, they obviously didn’t think they needed to worry about it. And I felt cheated.

taken to make assumptions about people’s intelligence. Really, what they’re meant to tell you is to what degree someone can get through their day independently,

"high functioning" is patronizing and uninformed.

People are exhausting, and when your brain is working overtime to try to understand them, it can suck the joy out of socializing.

It finally clicked that I can’t live my life getting hung up on the thoughts of a select few. And that my keen assessments of human behavior might not always be that accurate. Some people have default expressions that make them look mean.

and one thing that helps is the knowledge that a certain percentage of the people you encounter are always going to hate you, and for no particular reason. It’s going to be a constant through your life.

But the characters often seem like a checklist of symptoms rather than real people, a collection of quirks that have been mistaken for a personality. The problem with presenting autism on-screen is that it becomes the crux of the character. Having autism is a characteristic, not a character.

We’re finally shifting away from stories where the main villain in an autistic person’s story is their own autism.

Because I was waiting for what my dad calls “the better offer,” which is when you give a “maybe” to someone, not because you have plans, but because you’re waiting for something more exciting to pop up.

As someone with autism, I need closure. I need a concrete understanding that if we plan to meet somewhere at a certain time, it’s going to happen, and that if you need to cancel, you’ll notify me as early as possible.

YES

“You have to be on time, easy to work with, and good at what you do. If you are two out of three of these, you’ll be fine.”

A stim might indicate that someone has a problem, but the stim itself is not the problem. In fact, asking an autistic person not to stim can end up causing more problems than the stim itself.

!!!