Funny, You Don't Look Autistic: A Comedian's Guide to Life on the Spectrum

by Michael McCreary

We hadn’t been bothering anyone. It seemed like a pointless exercise in authority, meant only to make us feel powerless.

Just remember that every time a system has changed for the better, it’s because of someone saying, “I have a problem” loudly enough.

If music is the universal language, then awkward is the universal feeling.

Awkwardness might be the defining emotion of being on the spectrum. I myself am quite awkward, though my awkwardness was born out of the best of intentions. It’s not that I had no social skills; it’s just that my social skills put me out of step with the other kids of my generation. Holding the door for your classmates? Awkward. Smiling and using your manners? Awkward.

It finally clicked that I can’t live my life getting hung up on the thoughts of a select few. And that my keen assessments of human behavior might not always be that accurate. Some people have default expressions that make them look mean. Mine makes me look constipated. I get it.

I’ve gotten better over the years at dealing with my fear that people will hate me, and one thing that helps is the knowledge that a certain percentage of the people you encounter are always going to hate you, and for no particular reason.

It took me a while to learn this, but I finally realized that the people who matter are the ones who make time for you. Friendship is deeper than having mutual interests. Friendship is setting aside time in your day to help someone forget about life for a while.