I Was Never Broken

by Sara Sheehan

It’s obvious to never compare someone to another, but in this case, it’s not the person; it’s the process.

I don’t have it in me, to do people how they do me. I’m still trying to understand, If it’s my biggest strength or my biggest weakness.

Being alone is much more than wanting someone. It’s the scare of being alone forever. So that maybe we’ll get used to the feeling and not know how to love when someone new comes along.

I’ll always carry the weight on my heart of all the times I was ignored, unappreciated, and left torn apart.

can’t begin to understand why I made myself put up with someone so cold while I had a heart of gold.

I thank you. I thank you very much for showing me what love isn’t.

But I know now why I had to open my heart to you. I understand why I needed to give you a piece of me I’ll never receive back. It’s a piece I don’t ever need back. I don’t need the pain of getting hurt after putting my heart on the line for you. I don’t need that piece of me back. You may savor that piece with you everywhere you go.

I always wondered how you felt at that moment, but I realized I don’t care as I'm writing this. I don’t care how I made you feel because you never cared to wonder how I felt when you chose you every time over me.

If you could live your life-changing past mistakes, would you? As much as I’d like to… I wouldn’t. The past is the past for a reason. That’s why there’s a future.

To the people who go around talking about me, I’m glad you do. If I’m what motivates you, it looks terrible on you.

How do I get blamed for loving more than I should?

TIME DOESN’T WAIT FOR YOU, DON’T WAIT FOR YOUR TIME,

I ask God, why such a test… why me? Is this what I’m made for? Getting broken? Losing people? I’m an emotional mess… I’m alone in this.

I let go of people I wanted to keep around forever. To me, that’s become my biggest strength. If you know me, you know my heart’s big and my love is unconditional. If I let you go, It was for reasons that don’t need explanation, other than it wasn’t me, It was you.

If you push me away, I promise you, you won’t find me where you left me. My heart’s big, but not big enough to deal with people who decide to love me when it’s convenient for them.

No matter how long you’ve known each other, people will always be people.

You are the writer, they’re a chapter behind.

Be you; if they can’t love you, they don’t deserve to.

You always gave all of yourself without trying to hold back. I’m not sorry you let everyone see your heart. I’m sorry they ripped it out and slammed it back repeatedly.

But there’s no need to break an innocent heart.

Telling someone you love them is like asking them to love you; it doesn’t work like that.

I believe I deserve the best. I promise to never settle for second best. If they don’t want me to be their first… there’s no need to be theirs at all. I just need someone who will love me for me. When I’m a mess and when I look my best. Who cherishes being with me and loves my presence. I just want to be loved in a way it won’t need to hurt, or I won’t need to worry. Because I will be everything I am, and that will be enough.

Let me tell you something about people with good hearts. We love intensely, sometimes it’s hard to accept not everyone can love us with the same love, reciprocated back to us. The wild part… no matter how many times the pain is repeated, our hearts never change.

Be strong enough, to let go of unwanted company.

there’s no heart like mine.