I never did become a Catholic, but in my illness I became hungry to understand suffering; if I could understand it, I could perhaps suffer less, and even find comfort in the understanding. Books I consulted included Man’s Search for Meaning and No Mud, No Lotus, which suggest, respectively, logotherapy and Buddhism. What I have found difficult is not seeking an escape hatch out of pain, whether that be pills, alcohol, or the dogged pursuit of a cure. In suffering, I am always looking for a way out.
