The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America

by Matt Kracht

At some point a bunch of Type As decided to make the watching of birds even more unenjoyable by declaring that the whole point of it was going to be who can see the most birds in the course of their overcompetitive lifetime.

Farmers especially hate them because they will straight fuck up an orchard.

18th century whalers did not give a single fuck and referred to both as “woggins.”