Rock Bottom Girl

by Lucy Score

“I don’t think Travis is the guy for you,” Jake said,

“I think we’d have fun together.”

“I’m not really a fun kind of girl,”

“Hmm.”

“I think I’m going to kiss you.”

“Okay.”

He kissed me thoroughly and didn’t pull back until the crowd on the bleachers exploded over some play on the field. Jake looked at me and smirked. “Think about it,”

“A human Pinterest fail? I feel like that’s uncalled for.”

“She was with me the night before. All night. Speaking of,”

“Do you mind if we do dinner at my house tonight. Last I heard, dining naked is frowned upon at Cashews.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I heard you correctly. Are you two—”

“Dating,” Jake filled in. “Yeah. One look at Marley here during preseason, and I remembered all of those high school feelings that never went away.”

“As I was saying to Jake here,” Principal Eccles continued. “I never thought I’d see the day when he’d be signing one of these contracts. But I guess we all grow up eventually.” “Contracts?”

“What we do ask is that teachers who enter into relationships continue to set a good example for the students.” “Naturally,” I said.

So all I ask is you date exclusively for the remainder of the semester.

“You want me to sign a contract to be in a monogamous relationship with Jake Weston for the rest of the semester?”

“Great summary, honey,”

Marley Cicero had a really nice ass.

“We’ve shared exactly two kisses now. Both of which have resulted in some serious brain frying. I liked it. Both times.” “I don’t want a pity fake boyfriend,”

“I don’t know. I mean, maybe if I help you with your teaching and coaching, you could help me navigate a monogamous relationship. Like a practice run.” “You want me to help you practice being in a relationship?” “Yeah.

“Jake? How many of those contracts have you signed?” “Counting this one?” “Yeah.” “One.”

“You are Culpepper’s hometown hero right now. You stood up to the Hell Beast and lived to tell the tale.”

“Plus, you land Jake ‘Never Had a Relationship Longer Than Three or Four Orgasms’ Weston.”

“Jake Weston is the fat-free, calorie-free Twinkie. And only one woman can have him.”

“You’re operating on the assumption that there’s a standard adulthood that we all subscribe to. You think it’s grown-up to go tattling to the boss over a co-worker relationship? Is it grown-up to throw your weight around and steal some other team’s practice field? We’re all just overgrown teenagers running around trying to be happy.”

“What if none of those things were right for you?”

“Sweetheart, our monogamous relationship might be fake, but I can guarantee you it won’t be boring.”

“Would it matter if I told you that I actually like you?” “Why wouldn’t you? I’m a catch.”

“You don’t have to put on a show at six in the morning,” I told him. “Let’s not complicate things.” “Mars, I don’t know if you know this about me, but I really like complicated.”

“Why is it that everything that comes out of your mouth sounds like a come-on?” “It’s a gift.”

“You’re a lot to handle before dawn.” He grinned. “Baby,...

4. Learn the difference between venting and asking for advice. Hint: We’re very rarely asking for advice.

Me: I kicked a jerk off the team and landed a new star player. I’M INVINCIBLE.

Jake: *wipes a tear* My girlfriend’s a superhero! I bet you can rock a cape.

Me: I’m going to celebrate with Taco Bell. You in? Jake: Nothing but the best for my girl. Homer loves the soft tacos. Pick me up in ten.

“I know it’s stupid. To be thirty-eight and have no idea what a relationship is supposed to be like. And maybe I won’t like it. But I feel like I gotta try, you know? I got the house. I got a great job. Who knows, maybe I’ll like being bossed around, having to check in, making decisions with someone.” He squeezed my shoulder. “You’re making it pretty easy on me so far.”

“I don’t know the specifics, but I want to do something big. Something important. I want to be important, essential.

But the good that she does in this world is kind of mind-boggling. I want to do that. Be that.”

“I want people I don’t even know to have heard about me. And not in the loser, jobless, homeless, pity party way. I want to be impressive. I want to do important things, not just collect a paycheck or wait to get downsized again.

I’ve never been important enough to keep. I’ve never survived the first round of layoffs. I’m dispensable. Replaceable. No one misses me when I’m gone. I want to see what the other side is like.”

“I’m serious. I’ve spent the last fifteen years working with teenagers. I’m practically a life coach. You need to figure out what would make you more confident in yourself. No amount of ‘atta girls’ from other people is going to give you that swagger you’re looking for. You’re a hell of a girl, Mars. Start acting like it.”

“You really are like a life coach.” “Stick with me, pretty girl. Stick with me.”

I tried to sit up, but strong arms banded tighter around me. “Nope. Five more minutes,” he mumbled, rubbing his chin over the top of my head.

“Relax, Mars. We just fell asleep.”

“Shit. I didn’t tell my parents I wasn’t coming home.” “I texted your mom from your phone. She instructed you to have a good time with about six winky emojis. Now be quiet and let me enjoy waking up with a girl.”

“Okay. Five more minutes,”

Fake or not, this was not a bad way to start the day.

“Homecoming our senior year? Does that ring any bells?” “I think I remember Homecoming differently than you do. I remember a scrappy senior who had been pushed around one too many times and took things into her own hands by—”

“Look, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry if

I did something that hurt you in high school.”