Rock Bottom Girl

by Lucy Score

“For being a shitty team player and having a craptastic attitude. Newsflash, you want to act like a jerk, do it at home to your parents who made you this way. Now, run.”

Our strength comes from our diversity, our willingness to change, to fight inequality, to explode scientific advancement.”

“They’re basically animals, you know? Without us, they’d be not showering and wandering around naked just licking things. We’re goddamn superheroes.”

“You’re operating on the assumption that there’s a standard adulthood that we all subscribe to. You think it’s grown-up to go tattling to the boss over a co-worker relationship? Is it grown-up to throw your weight around and steal some other team’s practice field? We’re all just overgrown teenagers running around trying to be happy.”

Learn the difference between venting and asking for advice. Hint: We’re very rarely asking for advice.

I did the only thing I could do. I tumbled off my bachelor pedestal face-first, hitting every step on the way down. This was going to be a freaking disaster.

“I. Can’t. Breathe,” she squeaked out, wiping away the tears. “I fell off a donkey.” She covered her mouth with her hand, brown eyes twinkling, and I realized I’d never seen anyone more beautiful in my entire life. I was going to marry this woman. And I was going to mention this exact moment in our vows.

I was going to marry her. Really, I had no choice. Marley Cicero was meant to be mine, and I was meant to be hers. We would hash out the details later.

“I’m asking you to stay, Mars. Stay here. Be mine. Let me be yours. Live in this haunted house with me and Homer. Work with me. Run with me. Make me lunches. Let me hold you while you fall asleep on the porch.”

“I love you,” she said. “So much. So big and wide and more. You’re the ‘more’ I’ve been looking for my entire life. And I love you, and I hope you still love me even though I was a jerk and told you that you didn’t know what love was.”