Disobedience

by Naomi Alderman

Harley

hehe harley reference

It was understood that all was not well with Esti Kuperman, that there was some problem there, some trouble.

:((

Even the women, observing the service from the upper gallery built around three sides of the room, peering through the net screen,

oh, i forgot they kept women separate somehow

Each week, Esti sat alone,

my girl :((

afraid to turn around for fear that some of the women might remain behind her, whispering.

i actually can’t deal with sad esti, ronit come get your girl

if this is so, then Ronit will be coming home. Ronit is coming home.

I admit it, I’m a drama queen.

HEHEHEH

you tear your clothes,

WAITTT OMG

(Because music will remind you that, somewhere in the world, someone is happy.)

i love that lowkey

I paused for dramatic effect.

PLEASE I LOVE HER

his wife had taken the kids to her parents in Connecticut;

WIFE AND KIDS?? HELLO?? RONIT?????

clown-hands,

men either have huge hands or little baby hands no in between

‘Ronit, will she be there, that girl who you…’

AAAAAAAA MY GIRLS

‘Esti? No, I don’t think so. She’ll be long gone by now. She was worse than me, back in the day.’

oh girl just u wait

He imagined that she liked to cook.

you could just ask her, no?

But it was too late. The butter had fallen.

this must have some meaning im too dumb to understand...

And she had been thinking of her. Of the tips of her fingers, lightly brushing the back of her neck, moving around, stroking her jaw, until her thumb rested on her lips.

If Dovid had been looking at Esti’s face, he would have seen the blink of surprise, the visible start. As it was, he heard her say in a voice a little choked, ‘She should stay here.’

Esti found herself suddenly filled with various unexpected desires.

unexpected, my ass

Esti stood, smiling, in the hallway, soaking up the Ronit-ness of everything around her.

She felt it was important to note every moment.

Esti felt suddenly overwhelmed by this immensity of experience. She was here. After so long. Here. A pressure weighed on her forehead and around her scalp, a hum like an electrical device.

She felt distracted. Ronit was looking at her.

She had forgotten his presence entirely.

She put her right hand under the water. It was far too hot. She held her hand there for a little while.

esti, my love, no :(

She considered Ronit, who was sleeping just the other side of the wall to them. She thought, over and over, of how she looked now, how much better now than in memory, how she had ripened

More than that, I needed a cigarette.

me too, girl, me too