The First Will Be Last: A Biblical Perspective On Narcissism (Counseling Series)

by D.C. Robertsson

finally concluded “why bother to try making her happy, it won’t work anyway.” What Barry did not realize was that his lifelong drive to mollify his constantly disgruntled mother had created a pattern of people-pleasing – even when the situation needed him to take a stand or establish boundaries.

Barry seemed to be extra sensitive to criticism. He also felt underappreciated for the good things he did. When he picked up any whiff of rejection he would go into a funk for days or weeks – it was a merry-go-round of incidents triggering this response. Then something would happen to snap him out of it. But through it all Barry considered himself a generally positive person – except for these triggered, pity-party funks.

He wound up in a ministry environment where a few people had agendas to become famous through building their own personal kingdoms, and who sought to capture others in service to their cause. These ministry team leaders repeatedly burned people out in accomplishing “project” related goals.

Lee saw his father explode at the smallest of slights but did not realize that he had the same tendency. He told himself that when he had his own family he would not act like his father - but when that time came Lee changed his views and decided it was pretty nice to be at the top of the family pyramid. As a result, Lee’s family became a modern version of the family model he had sworn he would not repeat.