Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language

by Amanda Montell

The narratives of male and female desire that most of us grow up with say that it isn’t possible for a woman to want sex without also wanting some sort of commitment. That’s relevant because as CKW point out, it could be part of the reason why in casual sex scenarios, a dude so often fails to connect with what the woman wants. With her humanity. Sometimes he does, but that’s the exception. “Men seem to feel an obligation for commitment if they relate to their female partner as a person,” CKW determine. “She may be content with a one-night stand, but would prefer it to be with someone to whom she can relate person-to-person as well as body-to-body.” (Which seems fairly reasonable to me? Again, is this why lesbian sex is better?) Yet, it appears that on the whole, men often relate to women person-to-person only within ongoing relationships, not casual sex. Whether it be because the culture has taught him that all women are stage-four clingers or that his orgasm is the only real goal, a dude in a hookup scenario might unconsciously feel he must treat the woman like an object, or else he’ll trap himself into a serious dating situation instead of simply, I don’t know, becoming better at sex.