Goddess of the Hunt

by Shelby Eileen

Artemis was a beauty, a terror, a force that nature bowed to, but only because she had bowed to nature first.

The arrows she had slung about her body were warnings to those who followed her around expecting their attention to be received warmly. One arrow said, “touch me and you will die”. Another said, “touch anyone who doesn’t wish to be touched and you will die”. They all said, “violate a boundary, no matter how strict or malleable, and you will die”.

I don’t know how to write or breathe or love in any other way than spilling my truths all over and praying to the Gods that someone anyone will stay and help me clean up the mess

your strength is a beauty I’ve not yet seen matched even in the wild

Her heart is tired but her body never is, wasn’t made to ever be.

make no mistake I may be at home among the dirt and the trees moonlight feeds me well the wild holds me close this evergreen womb but I was born to a kingdom I know the sanctity of a palace I know the weight of a crown I know how to rule

does he know I learned protection from sharpening my arrows and using them to keep anyone that was made in his image a thousand forests away from me

While other Goddesses tend to their seasons and their elements, their riches and their beauty, she is becoming something that never loses. She is being fitted for bronzed gauntlets and her palms are shaping every weapon she touches into something that will make history with her; books and lightening, spears and men and shields and night. She is creating victory before there is even battle.

I will be ruthless and unforgiving sip wisdom like it is wine and fill my body with truth and urgent wrath before I fill it with pleasure that I can do without

in a lot of ways they will push me out of history because I am a fighter not a lover all the recognition and tumult of love fell right off me

She looked at me and said, “I don’t bring people together because they need to be completed. You are a Goddess, whole, Artemis. Trust me to know this; love happens to some people, but it does not have to happen to you.”

Defeat does not always have to be defeat. It can always, always, be a beginning.

for those I would immortalize in the stars

who do I belong to? I asked the Styx you and only you

I lived a whole life in between a whole life of mistakes and scrapes and tumbles and screams

I bet you have never heard about my imperfect nature because you were too busy believing that nature could never be imperfect

She is power. But even power, pure in its oppressiveness, reaches a breaking point.

She knows there is strength in turning away love’s embrace but it does not have to be lonely. She doesn’t turn it away to deprive herself, to suffer. She turns it away to remain an untouched collection of celestial tableaus and peaceful thicket quiets. If you know what dims your light, she prays you avoid it.

but I could have disappeared among the stars and you still would never think to learn how to read the constellations

nothing grows independently no one makes it through anything difficult alone and yet I try

It is hard to embody woman and lady or even Goddess when my true form, I know now, is balance.

rage burns bright within me sizzling so volatile, I invented the way your blood boils and your cheeks flame when you’re angry I own that power it came from me the girl who everyone told would fall in love one day no matter how loudly I screamed it’s not what I wanted it was never what I needed

born to question just how heavy the sky could feel on our shoulders born to hold the weight even though it could kills us

you must remember how strong you are when you feel like an entire ocean is pressing down on your chest when you feel like a whole galaxy of emptiness is swallowing up your voice

I never wanted to be made of stone

I’ve put up so many walls I’ve prepared for war I’ve known what it is to lose I’ve fought with people I thought would always protect me I’ve learned there are few you can trust more than yourself

one war is never enough one sacrifice is never enough and if you believe one villain can bring it all down or one hero can put it all back together then you have not been paying attention

I treat the forest as my kingdom because it is the only place that’s ever given me strength without asking for something in return

but love is impatient love is uncomfortable love is too hot and too cold at the same time love is stifling it is stale air and sweaty grips love is uncertainty and risk and possibly no reward love is luxurious it is unnecessary this is not what you came to the forest for but I am not sorry that it’s what you found in me

Clean is a lie. Better to be a tarnished warrior than a spotless false God.

the world broke me down the forest blotted out all of my sun the expectations chiseled away at my soul the loveless part was a lie the hunt was a game divinity made it dirty nothing about me is pure or clean

What she has to give up is not really a loss anyway. She can live without it. She will thrive without it.