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Through Lucas’s fascination, I saw myself differently. I was worthy. I didn’t have to try so hard.
“Sometimes because the people we wanted to care for us, didn’t care for us, we live with a deliberate lack of care for ourselves. A way of getting back at them, through self-neglect.”
“You’re doing it as revenge?” I’d asked. “Revenge, perhaps a buried desire to be rescued. And embracing a failure that you feel you’re marked for anyway.”
Well, beloved: you’re the constant here.