“Because I have to remember all the times I was horrible to her, and all the times I wasn’t. Because the more I think about it, the more I worry I was a really bad sister to her. I think I spent more time being angry and jealous and petty than I did just loving her. And I did love her—I loved her more than anyone could’ve loved her. But I don’t think I showed it enough when she was alive, and I don’t know how I’m ever going to make that up to her.
