Every Word You Cannot Say

by Iain S. Thomas

I’m worried that I’m taking everything too seriously, or not seriously enough.

Sometimes I want you to see me, and sometimes I want to disappear.

And for this reason, I also know that sometimes you smile even when there’s nothing to smile about.

🥹

I know sometimes your brain is too loud and your heart bangs on the ceiling with a broom, screaming, “Shut up, you’re going to ruin this for us.”

I know you feel things and wish sometimes that someone was there to tell you that you’re allowed to feel everything you’re feeling.

I know that, sometimes, you wish someone would just say the words you needed to hear because, sometimes, you don’t even know what those words are.

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

And I want you to know that despite how wrong everything seems right now, you are someone special, in someone else’s story.

It is in this hope…that we carry on.

Everyone you meet along the way is just someone at a different point in their story. So be patient and kind.

A story does not stop being a story when you turn the page.

But life is not special because of what happens after it’s over.

Life is special because life is special. Your story is special.

If things are good, they will change. If things are bad, they will change. Because change is the nature of every story.

It takes time. But time is all it takes. Not your heart. Not your life. Just time.

*We forget that how a person acts in each moment is not who they are, that each person is a series of moments and we cannot judge any moment in isolation, and use that moment to define them.

💯

We only hear the loudest voices when really, we should be listening to the quietest.

So know the kindness of the universe. And know that there is great hope for us, if we can find the hope inside ourselves first.

There is a kind of light that can shine in anyone, if they give themselves the space to shine. You need to remember because life has a way of making you forget.

Forgive yourself for being you— you have done nothing wrong and tomorrow is another chance.

So pray to the God of everything that heals —there is a temple in our hands when we hold them together.

Only you hold you back, or push you forward.*

Because what else could you be, but everything.

You are the picture you paint, of you.

(You are still everything you could be.)

Pray for being awake to every good thing.

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

The world will always wear you down, so let it wear you down until only the good remains. Hold on to the incredible parts of you that survive.

You love again. Recycle your heart. Someone out there needs it. —Remember this.

But, I promise you, we all have things we think we don’t deserve.

A silent bell is ringing. Because every beautiful thing is only Here when you are.

When we’re hurt, we need to take better care of ourselves. Not worse.

And sometimes anger is your body’s way of telling you that you’re ready to change things.

Korique

You get to decide what eats you up.

Within you, there is all the kindness you will ever need.

Not everyone wins the lottery, but everyone who does bought a ticket. To live the life you want, you have to be brave and buy the ticket every single day.

And we are only alive in the moments where we either overcome or forget the everyday fear that we are not who we tell people we are.

This is true of other people too. Whether pure or impure, the heart shines through. Give anyone long enough, and they will tell you what is in their heart.

“You say I love you but we both know, when you say it, you are trying to remember the first time you said it, because every time you say it after that, is just a shadow of that time. And we know we change, we accept that, so I’m hoping that one day, we change into the kind of people who mean it again. So I say, ‘I love you’ but I mean, ‘I believe I will love you again, one day.’”

OMG

Back in the dream I ask you if you would burn with me, if I burned, and you tell me that you’ve always burned for me, and in the dream, I believe you.

It still hurts when the things and people I love are taken away from me. The truth is, I have just learned not to cry as much.

💯

“You have changed the way I love, by the way that you loved me. I love differently now. Maybe even less. Maybe there’s less of me to love. Maybe there’s more.”

I know a moment will come when I’m weak. But I’ll open the one happy moment I saved today. And live to see tomorrow.

Maybe people will call you stupid when you tell them you don’t remember being hurt. But sometimes, being called stupid would hurt less than remembering.

Yupppp

You cannot fix me because I am not broken. And even though everything has changed, I am still more me than I’ve ever been.