Diary of a Somebody

by Brian Bilston

Leonard, as we’ve learnt over the years, was her third husband of six. The sequence runs as follows: Divorced, Bewildered, Died, Divorced, Befuddled, Surprised.

Monetization The ad said MONETIZE YOUR FOLLOWERS so he thought he would respond; he painted them in the changing light, like waterlilies in a pond.

John Travoltaire Well, you can tell by the way I break the rules, I’m a reason man: no time for fools. Progress checked, our freedom scorned, We’ve been kicked around since we were born. But it will be all right, it’s not too late For separation of Church and State. We can try to understand With science to lend a helping hand. Dictionaries and dancing, poems, plays and prancing, I’m spreadin’ the light, spreadin’ the light. Despots are a-quakin’ and institutions shakin’, And I’m spreadin’ the light, spreadin’ the light. Ah, ha, ha, ha, spreadin’ the light, spreadin’ the light. Ah, ha, ha, ha, spreadin’ the light.

Not Drowning but Waving They saw him, his arms up in the air And they rushed in to save him: But I was just happy with how far I’d swum And not drowning but waving. Poor chap, he must have had enough And decided to join the dead Lurking beneath must have been sad, hidden depths, They said. Oh no, no, no. I have none of those, (He spluttered as they reclaimed him) I was simply splashing around, having fun, And not drowning but waving.

Even now in my mind that row remains VIVID. We tried to stay CIVIL but ended up LIVID.