If I go in guarded, then I’m focused on myself and how I am perceived. When I’m attending but not in charge of the group, I often hold back and feel unsure, not wanting to seem like I’m trying to take over. As a result, I enter the room as my small, false self, wrapped up in a narrative that vacillates between uncertainty and overconfidence, from They wouldn’t want to hear from me to I have been doing this so much longer than the rest of these guys. Clearly I’m a treat to be around. When I walk into a room clinging to my own false story, my body gives me hints. I get sweaty, shaky, excited,
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