More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Read between
May 10 - June 18, 2023
Unmade decisions hold power.
Regardless
The decision is rarely the point. The point is you becoming more fully yourself in the presence of God.
“Our Western minds are trained to go down the path of explaining. We think if we can understand it, then we can control it.” It’s true, don’t you think? We are conditioned to believe the only reason we should do things is if we know why, where we are headed, and for what purpose. No wonder we have trouble making decisions. If we don’t have clear answers or sure things, then taking a big step feels like a risk at best and a wasteful mistake at worst.
Decisions shape our lives. But what we often overlook is not only how our choices shape outcomes but how they shape us too. They reveal our character and help to create our character.
What I’m finding to be most helpful more than any list, question, or sage advice is simply to get quiet in a room with Jesus on the regular, not for the sake of an answer but for the sake of love.
perspective of becoming a minimalist, emphasizing how the journey is important even if we never quite arrive at the destination, something he was careful to acknowledge.2
Complexity has its place. But when our souls are filled with clutter, what is meant to be complex and awe-inspiring can become complicated and exhausting.
it’s not enough to just declutter; we have to de-own.
Becoming a soul minimalist does not mean that you should hold on to nothing but rather that nothing should have a hold on you.
an hour a day, a day a week, and a week a year without technology.4
As people who put their trust in Jesus, sometimes we don’t know what to say when we see someone going through an impossible time. Instead of giving them space to name their own narratives, we rush them into a narrative that makes us feel more comfortable. It can be easy to refuse to let people grieve the way they need to grieve by naming their circumstance for them, saying phrases like, “God is in control” or “Consider it all joy!” or “God works all things together for good.”
story arc
The story arc can be one of faith even though the characters may have shaken fists and asked hard questions and yelled at the top of their lungs. The story arc is joyful even when the people are broken.
within each narrative there are almost always shadows of gray along the way. And it’s important to name those too.
Let today be a beginning, not a verdict.
The middle still counts even though it’s ordinary. Maybe the middle counts most of all.
a name is more like a song than a definition.
four
Dallas Willard says we always live what we believe; we just don’t always live what we profess we believe.
We make better decisions by making decisions, not by thinking about making decisions.
God often gives a faint vision of things before they ever come to be. It’s not a full form, more of a shadow, not focused or clear. It doesn’t come with steps or money or sure things, but it does come with hope. And hope is what keeps you going in the fog. Instead of those black-and-white answers we tend to love so much, what if we began to look for arrows instead?
Logic and limits often get in the way of longing. And longing is key to our growth.
desire often lives next door to grief inside the soul. Access the grief, and you wake up the longing as well.
Dallas Willard, in his book The Divine Conspiracy, says “the most important thing about you is not the things you achieve but the person you become.”2
even with enough money you may still not feel provided for. Because provision also looks like support, like communication, like turning toward the people you love rather than away from them. Provision looks like staying in the room together when it would be easier to walk out.
Sometimes we’re afraid to move because we want to avoid an unwanted consequence. This is when our lives become marked by hiding from the potential storms of loneliness, failure, isolation, or invisibility. If we don’t take cover, then we might be overcome.
Fear works both ways, keeping you from doing things you might want to do and convincing you that you have to do things you don’t want to do.
“There may be a lot of reasons for you to say no to this trip,” he said. “But please, don’t let fear be one of them.”
Am I being led by love or pushed by fear?
We can’t prevent storms from coming, but we can decide not to invent our own.
how we answer this question of desire determines what our next right step will be. Make no mistake—denying your desire is also an answer, and that will determine your next step too. If you don’t take the time to admit what you most long for, decisions will still need to be made. But instead of stepping forward in self-awareness, you’ll base your decisions on other outward things like expectations, habit, or some other kind of external pressure.
What had been a moving mission came to a full stop because Jesus’s ear was sensitive to a person on the side of the road.
Jesus asked, What do you want me to do for you? It was a question of desire.
even if you don’t get what you want, knowing what you want can still be a great gift.
Desire is only toxic when we demand our desires be satisfied on our terms and in our timing. Knowing what we want and getting what we want are not necessarily the same thing.
the best time to decide what you want is before a decision is even on the table. The second best time is when you are confronted with a decision but you haven’t made that choice yet. And the third best time is after you make a decision and then realize you based your decision not on your deepest desire but on expectation, habit, pressure, or some other reason that had nothing to do with what you wanted.
One, knowing what you want builds your confidence. The process of determining what you want more is actually a gift to yourself. It means you’ve taken time to give your inner voice a place at the table. You are allowed to take up space in the room. Knowing what you want will help you to own that. Two, knowing what you want is a gift to the people you love. It means in those areas where you have a choice, you won’t waste your time playing a game you don’t really care to win. It means you will be thoughtful about your yes and your no; you won’t overcommit yourself or your family to things beyond
...more
When I honestly admit what I most long for in the presence of Jesus, I can more quickly accept when it doesn’t work out. I can talk to him about it, admit my heartbreak, and receive what he has to give in place of it.
When we don’t take time to reflect and reevaluate, then we may fall into the habit of doing things simply because they’re what we’ve always done.
This is a relationship, not a spreadsheet; a rhythm, not a rule.
You can never get enough of what you don’t really want. Rick Hanson, Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things
When you strive to be the biggest, the best, the smartest and wisest and most interesting, your goal will always be frustrated with bigger and better, smarter and wiser, and much more interesting. Rather than chasing more, what if we discovered enough right where we are?
What does it mean when what was before you for so long is now behind you? What does it say about you, your commitments, your choices, and your identity when that thing you worked so hard for no longer seems like a good fit?
one thing about an intentional no: it can open the door for a life-giving yes.
Today, perhaps your next right thing is to slow down long enough to see what’s taking up space in your life, to stop looking around and to settle in and listen. If that feels hard, it could be that you’re spinning around, looking for the next hundred things rather than the next one thing.
Maybe you need a reminder to release your pursuit of what is productive, profitable, impressive, or expected and instead consider this: What is essential?
Essentialism is not about how to get more things done, it’s about how to get the right things done. It doesn’t mean just doing less for the sake of less either. It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential.1
What kept him moving forward, what helped him to do his next right thing, was knowing that his Father was with him. And he could only remember that as he spent time alone with his Father. And so it goes for us.
Just because you feel unsettled doesn’t mean you’re not a content person. It doesn’t mean you’re selfish or scattered or that you just need to be more thankful. It could mean that, I guess, but it doesn’t automatically mean that. Maybe instead it means, as Adam McHugh says, that it’s time to listen to your emotions rather than preach at them.3 Maybe your life is trying to tell you something. Maybe it’s time to clear out a little space to listen to what you already know: that it’s time to make a change.
