This Is Not How It Ends

by Rochelle B. Weinstein

Eighteen minutes after saying I do, and eighteen minutes after becoming a ...

When someone you love slowly dies, you have the time to say what you need,

“That’s what he does, Charlotte. He fixes companies, people, lives . . .” Her voice trailed off. “He leaves them a little richer . . . better . . . stronger. He never wanted anyone to experience the pain he went through.” I’d always known Philip’s capacity to give, but hearing this bittersweet story moved me.

“It’s weird to have a choice. I think rules make life easier.”

Abandonment leaves a painful mark. It inks you for life, if you let it, making you believe you’re not worthy, leaving you distrustful of wishes and dreams, when they only disappoint.

I let her hug me, though I had no interest in hearing any more condolences. I knew she was sorry. Everybody was sorry. Sorry didn’t bring people back.

If there’s one thing Philip taught me, it was to live boldly.

“Life challenges us, Charlotte. Every single one of us. Do you think you’re any different?” She let me ponder this. “You didn’t know that phone call was coming. You had no way of knowing. You were prepared to do the admirable thing.”

Life throws shit at all of us, and it’s how we deal with it that defines who we are.”

We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. I’m sure you have a moment you wish you can take back. Treat him as you’d want others to treat you. And after the shock wears off, because it will, I want you to do this: forgive him. Forgiveness is the greatest act of love you can give another human being. With forgiveness comes the ability to fully love—yourself and others. And when I say love, I mean all that comes with it.

Be happy, my love. We only have one ride on this merry-go-round. Don’t fall off.

Pass with care.

Forgiveness is a gift. Life holds no guarantees. Happiness comes with risk.

“Here’s the thing, Charley, if you’re dreaming, you’re not really living. You have to fight, you have to chase the dream, or else it dies.

Maybe we’re meant to learn from goodbyes. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s all a bunch of nonsense that sounds good in theory but rips you apart, leaving everything broken.”

Opening your heart again makes you vulnerable.