Carry On (Simon Snow, #1)

by Rainbow Rowell

The Minotaur worked on the grounds when my mother was headmistress; creatures weren’t allowed on staff then. I dare him to hold that against me. I dare them fucking all.

They might all cut me some slack if I told them I’d been kidnapped. I am never telling anyone I was kidnapped. Kidnapped. And by fucking numpties, no less.

“The front seat is for people who’ve never been kidnapped by bloody numpties. Jesus Christ, Baz.”