When She Returned

by Lucinda Berry

Dad taped elaborate maps on our living room walls, keeping a color-coded record of where we’d been and where we still had to go. People criticized him for taking me with him on his searches, but they would’ve criticized him no matter what, since they found fault with everything he did back then.

Ugh the fact that the father couldnt grapple with the fact that his wife had gone missing enough to not stop trying to find her is heart breaking

The police had said she had a baby with her. That only meant one thing.

Was she the baby

What was Mom going to think when she found out Dad was married again?

It was too big of a hit to his ego that he couldn’t support us in the way we’d been used to on just his income alone.

Ahhh scott felt inferior as a man traditional

“It’s just the small-town mentality of people not liking change and being resistant to anything that doesn’t fall within their traditional ideologies.”

People dont like deviation or unconformity. Makes them feel uncomfortable

technology unless absolutely necessary. He’d explained one of their core beliefs was to eliminate all distractions and avoid any stimulus that might artificially create a spiritual experience where there was none. I had to admit, there was something inherently calming about it. Something about the nothingness quieted my mind.

Isolation equals ignorance equal manipulation

But I wanted him to grow and change, experience new things too. His contentment

How could we live our lives based on decisions we’d made when we were seventeen?

Naivity

the fairy tale alive. It wasn’t just our story—it was everyone’s. I

You start architecting your life to appease and be liked by society

do. That’s what happens when it’s meant to be.”

Such pressure to keep up this facade

It wasn’t the life—it was the man. Images of how Scott had taken care of me after my parents died when I was seventeen passed through me in snippets—the hours he’d spent sitting with me at the hospital long after they’d been pronounced dead. He’d kept everyone away from me until I had been ready to leave. He’d been my emotional container for the fits of rage that I had unleashed for years as I had struggled to process how I’d been robbed of so much. “He

She felt a loyalty to him...despite it stifling her from experiencing life

Kevin stood rooted to his spot, his eyes downcast. “You’re not going to do it, are you? You really aren’t willing to die for your beliefs.” Ray pushed him gently forward. “Go sit down.”

Ugh are these people being manipulated into this program...is it a cult

was so curious about their lives, but everything about discipleship, including how they lived their daily lives, was kept a carefully guarded secret. Large parts of the community still considered them a cult,

Yes i would agree...they are shady

suspected a group of her harshest critics. They even talked to Ray about the hate mail he’d received, too, and he gladly turned it over to them for their investigation. He was so helpful . . .” His voice trailed

Did the organization conspire tk kidnAP HER bc theybwere also getting hate. Was there fear their current members would start leaving somehow

There was no way I was going to be done with this on time. How was any of this going to work? The magnitude of what I’d done engulfed me.

Plot twist...scott was also in the cult

I had no idea how much time had passed since Ray had put me in this room. It could be hours. It might have been days. I didn’t know. There was a small overhead light bulb on at all times, so there was no way to tell if it was day or night.

Its as though she is being hazed?

“You’re going through your forty days in the desert, just like Jesus.” “Forty days? Nobody said anything about forty days. In here?”

Like detoxifying her but she isnt an addict. Detoxifying from her current life to expel her old life and be born again? Heavy cult and religion tropes....intersection of these themes

“How could he do that? I mean, what kind of a man helps look for the woman he’s keeping in a locked cellar? It’s sadistic,” he’d said. He’d called Ray all kinds

To redirrct suspicion

The new physical space created new emotional space within me. It was exciting to live somewhere besides California, since I’d been there since I was three.

I get it. I live w my dad and we are closer than ever

Silence again. Ray wanted us to pull it out of him. Something about the exchange pleased him, almost like he was playing some kind of a game. I hated when he acted like this. Phil put his hand

He crsves power

“I feel sick.”

Shes havkng a slmatic visceral reaction to just seing his photo...thats powerfjul

Nobody stopped. I fought against Daniel, but he kept me pinned, forcing me to watch the scene in front of me with my face smashed to the floor.

Oh my goodness such violence in this transition

“Hush, everyone. There is no reason to cry. How many times have I told you that there is a natural order to things? How many times?” Nobody spoke. “God weeds out those who are too weak to survive. We are not exempt from any of God’s rules.” His eyes scanned the room, but no one returned his stare. “Let this be a lesson to all of you.”

Oh my validating how he just kikked her and blaming those who die and are unable to make the transfion on their knaokity to lesdnfromtheer mitaks and itis at a fsukt of them

“The word says that ‘whoever resists authority resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.’”

“Bekah died from complications during childbirth. There was nothing that could have been done about that, and you know it.” “And Sam?”

Again rationalizing their deaths

“And the fact that she lied to me about being on the phone?”

Is she really the mother

“No, Kate. Every decision you made from the moment you walked through Love International’s door was your own.”

Yesh theyll manipukate yiuintothinkong that

if I could stomach another lecture on how important it was to channel our sexual energy into a shared purpose, but I couldn’t tolerate much of anything lately, and I didn’t know how I’d manage to keep fooling everyone after Margo’s disclosure.

Are they are trying to exploitthe meebers

“What happened?”

A mass procreationto build ulon their mission and commjnih/cult

“I practically forced Kate to quit her job and stay home with Abbi. She was never really set on the idea, and part of the reason was because she didn’t want to give up her income. I convinced her we’d be fine, and for a while we were, but then everything crashed in 2008.

WHat anass. He lief to her and made her forfeit her lofe snd proceedee to mame finacial decision based off of hjs sefish needs without conshlyin her

Everything was going to change with this new life inside me, and as proud as I should’ve been about being chosen to carry his seed, I couldn’t shake the fear creeping in around the edges.

Is meredith a lroduct ofthe cukt via pregnsncy

“I missed you, my love.”

Oh my goodness the mother is stikl connecged to the cult and trying to haze meredith into thr cult

Her betrayal hurt too much for tears. Why were they doing this to me?

“We don’t know about any of the others, but Ray has been in San Francisco, and he’s the one she’s been talking to.”

Ray. First, he’s also who

Okh wk abner was ray. The coordinator

Kate says he’s Shiloh’s father. We put a rush on the DNA, but she has no reason to lie about that, so it’s a pretty safe bet to assume that he is. Also, you should know she’s been referring to herself as his wife since they brought her in.”

ANd shiloh is rays daughter. SHe is aproduct of the cult

“Things of a sexual nature and others of a punishing nature. She’s covered in self-inflicted wounds running down her legs that she’s been carving into herself as a form of penance. She’ll show them to you if you ask her. She’s quite proud of them.”

Exploiting her sexuaky once ain by utilizing drelkiois manipulation that is mknown to work with those who aee distruaght and truly believe that their succumbing andforfeit of autnony wik help improve their lives