Aside from extreme situations, in which the abuse is unrelenting, the perpetrator will at times profess their love, offer gifts, show kindness and express remorse. This is what’s known as the Cycle of Violence, where an explosion is followed by a period of remorse, then promises and pursuit, a false honeymoon stage, then a build-up in tension, a standover phase, and another explosion. The kindness expressed during the false honeymoon may feel genuine to the abuser, but this reward phase – like every other part of the cycle – is still all about maintaining control. Periods of kindness, no
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