Domestic abuse is not just violence. It’s worse. It is a unique phenomenon, in which the perpetrator takes advantage of their partner’s love and trust and uses that person’s most intimate details – their deepest desires, shames and secrets – as a blueprint for their abuse. We also say domestic abuse is a crime, but that’s not quite right either. Crimes are incidents – if you get bashed, you can call the police and report an assault. There are criminal offences committed within domestic abuse, but the worst of it cannot be
