The more my self-esteem and body-respect waned, the more I turned to the cause of it for comfort. Booze and men. Men and booze. Them wanting me meant I was worth something. I sought acceptance and approval in the very source of my wretchedness. Not unlike eating more cookies to feel better about eating too many cookies. And much of the sex I was having was during blackout. Which meant I didn’t remember it. At all.
