Blackouts were commonplace right from the get-go. I thought everyone experienced lost hours of nights out – turns out they don’t. I thought everyone felt jangly-nerved and ill-fitting until they’d had a drink – turns out they don’t. I’d always felt like I was on the outside, looking into social situations, never quite able to fully shed my inhibitions and engage. Booze opened the door, beckoned me in from the cold and thrust me into the thick of the party.
