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March 26 - April 2, 2023
‘Drinking steals happiness from tomorrow’
The reality of most drinkers’ stories is that the last day drinking is more of a whimper than a bang. It’s a slow, insidious undoing.
For me, each rock bottom was what recovery people call a ‘convincer’. They added fuel to my desire to get sober. Without them, I would never have stopped drinking. They’re pitch-black moments in my life, but they serve a bright purpose in the long-term. It’s because of those blood-chilling moments that I finally scraped together the wherewithal to start swimming as fast as I could for the sober shore.
My top sober reads are: Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety by Sacha Z Scoblic, Blackout by Sarah Hepola, This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol by Annie Grace, Dry by Augusten Burroughs and Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale. For podcasts, I love Home and The One You Feed.
‘The thing that you think is your crutch is actually a shackle. Like if you’re in the studio and you can’t do a vocal without half a bottle of wine beforehand, something is up. This is my art, I should be able to do this sober, with an open heart, because it’s what I dreamed of doing as a kid.’
Addiction is all about seeking external relief from mental pain; whether you use cocaine, online poker, shopping, sex, razors, cake or exercise. Addictions are all the same ultimately. You seek to treat an internal pain with an external substance or activity. You pursue a once-pleasurable activity to the point of
For me, I had to stop hating myself and start liking myself in order to find sobriety. I had to replace self-loathing with self-soothing. I had to start to believe that I was worth something. That I deserved better than drinking.
‘Guilt, shame and self-pity activate the reward circuitry in the brain. The only way out of this addictive loop is to practice radical self-compassion instead.’
When we make a clear-cut decision, rather than engage in the debate, our brains quieten down, says neuroscientist Alex Korb.
And that’s OK. Because it’s real, when I do get there, rather than a chemically induced sham. I’m now completely chilled about being the girl who’s in her PJs by midnight, rather than a hot mess on the dancefloor. The price tag of being the Party Girl was – and is – too expensive. I was never really her anyhow.
‘Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.’ – ANNE LAMOTT
‘When you gossip about another person, listeners unconsciously associate you with the characteristics you are describing, ultimately leading to those characteristics being transferred: to you. So, say positive and pleasant things about friends and colleagues, and you are seen as a nice person. In contrast, constantly complain about their failings, and people will unconsciously apply the negative traits and incompetence to
Thrusting yourself into drinking situations is not what builds this muscle up. I’m not suggesting you constantly hang out in bars. It’s all about paying attention to your cravings, triggers and romanticizing.
Hard times in sobriety seem like a wall. But they’re just a cardboard wall. That you have to punch your way through to get to the magical stuff in the next room. I’m really learning that if you just sit with the discomfort and trust it will pass, it always, always does.
‘When you no longer need approval from others like the air you breathe, the possibilities in life are endless. What an interesting little prison we build from the invisible bricks of other people’s opinions.’ – JACOB NORDBY
‘You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage – pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.’
The word ‘crisis’ in Chinese is made up of the symbol for ‘danger’, but also the symbol for ‘opportunity’.
Trying to shove undesirable thought patterns away and be 24/7 Stepford-wife sunshiny doesn’t work. It makes them bigger and badder in our heads, ultimately. But naming, detaching and using mindfulness-based meditation means we don’t become pushed around by our minds. We gain space within them. Mindfulness gives us what I like to call, the ‘gift of the golden pause’. In which we can decide how to react, if at all.
