Every Body Looking

by Candice Iloh

when you start growing further away from what used to be home you go looking for somewhere that lets you be what’s inside your head

There are things they tell you get easier with time that one day you’ll grow up and be able to take it all they say this is what you have to do to be an adult this is what you have to do to survive you will not own your body you will not own your things you will not own your feelings you belong to the world to them to Him

To please a boy answer the phone when he calls respond when he sends a message be nice when he is mean be available when he has time be available when she rejects him be available when he is bored be ready to be drafted when she no longer wants him

even if you are just something to do

nobody calls YOU a ho even though all you and those assholes do is talk about is gettin girls cause women are women and men are men and they shouldn’t be out here tryna do what we do I told you your mouth was gon get you in trouble he continues you don’t need to be out here tryna save hos like Sophia unless you want people thinking you’re one too he says reaching for my waist so what if they do think it I say is the whole world gonna hate me too?

The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9