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Kindle Notes & Highlights
“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” – Seneca
“Kindness is invincible,” says Marcus, as long as it’s sincere. “For what can even the most malicious person do if you keep showing kindness?”
Hecato says, ‘I can teach you a love potion made without any drugs, herbs, or special spell—if you would be loved, love.’”
Let’s remember that rational and wise people don’t insult others, at least not on purpose.
Instead of reacting to an insult, says Musonius Rufus, “calmly and quietly bear what happened.”
says Epictetus: “Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice.”
So you simply can’t afford to turn your head to every scratch. It’s just training. Smile and move on.
Before you react to whatever arouses anger within, say to yourself: “I buy tranquility instead.” Then smile, do what needs to get done, and move on with your life.
The point is, the more you practice buying tranquility, the better you’ll get. Up to the moment you’ll be able to buy tranquility in the midst of a hellfire.
The Stoics advise us to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes, to take their perspective before passing a judgment.
“Associate with people who are likely to improve you.”
Epictetus says, “The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”
The companion “who is always upset and bemoans everything is a foe to tranquility.”
Generally, if you want to be the best you can be, surround yourself with the best people.
Refuse to accept all that’s other than objective. Stick to the facts and describe the situation in a neutral way. Without adding any value to it.
Remember, you are only free if you can look at external events with indifference.
“Let philosophy scrape off your own faults, rather than be a way to rail against the faults of others.”
“Often injustice lies in what you aren’t doing, not only in what you are doing.” – Marcus Aurelius
It’s not enough to just not do evil. We must be a force for the good in the world, even in minor situations. As well as we can.
“Let silence be your goal for the most part; say only what is necessary, and be brief about it. On the rare occasions when you’re called upon to speak, then speak, but never about banalities like gladiators, horses, sports, food and drink—common-place stuff.
Above all don’t gossip about people, praising, blaming or comparing them.” – Epictetus
The point is: Speak only when you’re certain that what you’ll say isn’t better left unsaid.
“Acquire the habit of attending carefully to what is being said by another, and of entering, so far as possible, into the mind of the speaker.” – Marcus Aurelius
“The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is so we might listen more and talk less.”
In conversation, make it a rule to hold your fire. Be the person who listens most of the time, and says only what improves the conversation.
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." – Marcus Aurelius
Epictetus couldn’t be clearer—we must live by the standards we know.
If you live by your beliefs and standards you’ll be in a harmony called cognitive consonance. You think a way and act that way too. That feels great.
