The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness

by Jonas Salzgeber

That’s why Epictetus advises to always have two rules ready at mind: (1) there is nothing good or bad unless we choose to make it so, and (2) we shouldn’t try to lead events but follow them. Resistance is futile, take things as they come, and make the best of what’s in your power.

So, we shouldn’t abandon others just because we chose to change, but we also shouldn’t abandon our new path. That’s a challenge we’ll all face sooner or later, not necessarily with the gluten, but maybe with other ideas and values.

“I buy tranquility instead.” This sentence saved me countless times from getting angry and irritated. How often do we get angry at trifles? How often do we lose our mind for something as insignificant as a fart in the bathroom?

Nothing happened. You will soon realize that the small things that usually irritate you are not worth the hassle. Just swallow whatever feelings arise within and move on. This will save you a ton of nerves and energy. The main challenge is this: We need to be aware of the arising feelings in the first place. So we need to be able to step in between stimulus and automatic response. And once we’re in that gap, we need to have the self-discipline to actually buy tranquility and not react at all.

For the Stoics, it’s more important to love than to be loved. They train themselves to deal with challenging people, particularly to avoid responding impulsively and with anger.

As Epictetus says, if our companions are dirty, we might get dirty as well. This is why Seneca warns us that vices are contagious—they spread like wildfire but don’t get noticed.

“Associate with people who are likely to improve you.”

Leave other people to their faults. Nothing in Stoicism empowers us to judge them—only to accept and love them as they are. Let’s focus inward. There’s enough to correct in ourselves.

Now pause for a moment and imagine the world if we all abstained from hasty judgments and rather focused on scraping off our own faults. What do you see?