True Grit

by Charles Portis

“The wicked flee when none pursueth.”

I will send him a message by telegraph and he will be here on the evening train. He will make money and I will make money and your lawyer will make money and you, Mr. Licensed Auctioneer, will foot the bill.”

On his deathbed he asked for a priest and became a Catholic. That was his wife’s religion. It was his own business and none of mine. If you had sentenced one hundred and sixty men to death and seen around eighty of them swing, then maybe at the last minute you would feel the need of some stronger medicine than the Methodists could make.

MR. GOUDY: You were backing away? MR. COGBURN: Yes sir. He had that ax raised. MR. GOUDY: Which direction were you going? MR. COGBURN: I always go backwards when I am backing up.

“This is the real article. It is double-rectified busthead from Madison County, aged in the keg. A little spoonful would do you a power of good.” “I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.”

“You can’t serve papers on a rat, baby sister.” “I never said you could.” “These shitepoke lawyers think you can but you can’t. All you can do with a rat is kill him or let him be. They don’t care nothing about papers. What is your thinking on it?”

Criminal investigation is sordid and dangerous and is best left in the hands of men who know the work.” “I suppose that is you. Well, if in four months I could not find Tom Chaney with a mark on his face like banished Cain I would not undertake to advise others how to do it.” “A saucy manner does not go down with me.” “I will not be bullied.”

“Earlier tonight I gave some thought to stealing a kiss from you, though you are very young, and sick and unattractive to boot, but now I am of a mind to give you five or six good licks with my belt.” “One would be as unpleasant as the other,” I replied. “Put a hand on me and you will answer for it. You are from Texas and ignorant of our ways but the good people of Arkansas do not go easy on men who abuse women and children.”

If you want anything done right you will have to see to it yourself every time.

I had held longer amounts in my hand but this money, I fancied, would be pleasing out of proportion to its face value. But no, it was only three hundred and twenty-five dollars in paper and the moment fell short of my expectations.

“Blast coon hunting! This ain’t no coon hunt, it don’t come in forty miles of being a coon hunt!” “It is the same idea as a coon hunt. You are just trying to make your work sound harder than it is.” “Forget coon hunting. I am telling you that where I am going is no place for a shirttail kid.” “That is what they said about coon hunting. Also Fort Smith. Yet here I am.”

It is time you learned that you cannot have your way in every little particular. Other people have got their interests too.” “When I have bought and paid for something I will have my way. Why do you think I am paying you if not to have my way?” LaBoeuf said, “She is not going anyhow. I don’t understand this conversation. It is not sensible. I am not used to consulting children in my business. Run along home, little britches, your mama wants you.” “Run home yourself,” said I. “Nobody asked you to come up here wearing your big spurs.”

LaBoeuf shouted to me again, saying, “If you do not go back now I am going to whip you!” I made no reply. LaBoeuf picked up a rock and threw it in my direction. It fell short by about fifty yards. I said, “That is the most foolish thing that ever I saw!”

LaBoeuf commenced whistling tunes, perhaps to take his mind off his sore arm. Rooster said, “God damn a man that whistles!” It was the wrong thing to say if he wished it to stop. LaBoeuf then had to keep it up to show that he cared little for Rooster’s opinion.

LaBoeuf said, “There is something in what she says, Cogburn. I think she has done fine myself. She has won her spurs, so to speak. That is just my personal opinion.”

“Wharton will be looking for you.” “If he is not careful he will find me.”

He drank even as he rode, which looked difficult. I cannot say it slowed him down any but it did make him silly. Why do people wish to be silly?

I do not know if the Texan intended the remark to tell against me, but if he did, it was “water off a duck’s back.” You cannot give any weight to the words of a drunkard, and even so, I knew Rooster could not be talking about me in his drunken criticism of women, the kind of money I was paying him.

I had not the strength nor the inclination to bandy words with a drunkard. What have you done when you have bested a fool?

I pointed the revolver at his belly and shot him down. The explosion kicked me backwards and caused me to lose my footing and the pistol jumped from my hand. I lost no time in recovering it and getting to my feet.

He said, “I did not think you would do it.” I said, “What do you think now?”

Who was to blame? Deputy Marshal Rooster Cogburn! The gabbing drunken fool had made a mistake of four miles and led us directly into the robbers’ lair. A keen detective! Yes, and in an earlier state of drunkenness he had placed faulty caps in my revolver, causing it to fail me in a time of need. That was not enough; now he had abandoned me in this howling wilderness to a gang of cutthroats who cared not a rap for the blood of their own companions, and how much less for that of a helpless and unwanted youngster! Was this what they called grit in Fort Smith? We called it something else in Yell County!

I saw the horse. It was Little Blackie! The scrub pony had saved us! My thought was: The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner.

People love to talk. They love to slander you if you have any substance. They say I love nothing but money and the Presbyterian Church and that is why I never married. They think everybody is dying to get married. It is true that I love my church and my bank. What is wrong with that?

A woman with brains and a frank tongue and one sleeve pinned up and an invalid mother to care for is at some disadvantage, although I will say I could have had two or three old untidy men around here who had their eyes fastened on my bank. No, thank you!