Four Ever

by Sloane Kennedy

I forced myself to go to Zak. It was all I could do not to reach for him and pull him against me.

I’d take all the anger and fear and guilt I was feeling out on the man I loved more than should be humanly possible, and I

wouldn’t do that to him. He deserved better.

“He,” Zak said quietly. The hurt in his voice made my heart ache.

As fucked up as things had become between us, I was glad I could still see that part of him… that he hadn’t hidden himself so deeply from me that I’d lost that final link to him. “It’s okay, baby,” I whispered, and then I did what I hadn’t dared do out in the living room. I kissed him.

“Fucking hell,” I muttered before I could stop myself.

He wasn’t the old, familiar Killian anymore because I’d made him change. I’d made him choose between the only thing he’d ever wanted to be and me. He’d chosen me. And I hated myself for it. But I was too much of a coward to risk losing him… in any kind of way. So I’d condemned us to this non-life where I’d gotten what I wanted, but not really.

I wanted to tell him he deserved better than me… than the man I’d become in my desperation not to lose him.

I also didn’t have it in me to tell him the things I really needed to say. That I loved him. And missed him. And that I was sorry that I’d fucked so many things up for him. For me. For us.

It wasn’t like I’d never been attracted to other guys since meeting Zak, but something about this was… different.

Yeah, I needed him. I needed us.

“I’m never walking away, baby,” Killian whispered in my ear before he kissed the soft spot behind it. “You want me to go, you need to tell me so.” “No,” I choked out. “No, never.”

“No one comes before you, Killian. I’m afraid you don’t know that.”

The same fire that had started in my belly as I’d watched Zak and Liam’s body perfectly align right before we’d gotten the younger man into the tub exploded into a wildfire. What would the three of them look like together? With Noah between them? Or Zak? My man was the most passionate lover I’d ever known. What would he look like if he was being loved from front and back?

“You don’t get to give up on us,” he muttered. “Not like this.” His words should have been encouraging, but they just broke my heart even more. How long would Zak wait for me to get my shit together? How many wounds would he let me inflict upon his heart before he said it was enough?

I might not have been around the past few days, but it had been a comfort to know that Zak wasn’t alone. Zak hated being alone.

“What I wouldn’t give to have what you guys have here. To have it with…” “With who?” I prodded as I stared at Zak. He’d gone pale at Liam’s words. “It’s not important,” was all Liam said. He tried to push past me again, but this time with a lot less fight. “You want Zak and I to fight for each other, but you won’t do the same for yourself? You can’t even say his name?” “He’s my little brother,” Liam whispered. “I promised—”

“If you love him only as a brother, then yeah, you need to let him go because anything else would be cruel. Not with the way he feels about you.” “He doesn’t—” “Look at him, Liam. Really look at him. Then tell me he doesn’t feel that way about you.”

Noah bound the four of us together in a way that no longer seemed even a little bit wrong. “Stay.”

I wasn’t sure if Noah’s momentary hesitation had come from the fact that Killian’s huge cock was pressed between his ass cheeks or because of the extra little bit of Killian that Noah hadn’t been expecting. The first time I’d seen the metal hoop that graced the head of Killian’s monstrous

cock, I’d been shocked.

As I locked the door behind me and followed my men – yes, because that’s what they were tonight… my men – all I could think was fuck complicated. Complicated was just going to have to take the night off.

“Tell me what you want, Liam,” he murmured. “My hand on your cock?” Killian’s fingers undid the button on my jeans. “Or my mouth?”

“Too much, sweetheart,” he said. “You’ll make me blow before I get inside my man over there.”

“Do you want to know what your reward would have been?” I asked. He opened his eyes and nodded eagerly. “Come here and I’ll give you a preview.” I pulled my finger out of him and used a hand on his hip to guide him. He shot me confused glances as I positioned him

so he was straddling my chest but facing my feet. “Bend over, sweetheart. Let me see what Liam did to your pretty little hole.”

I wasn’t sure if Liam and Zak got themselves or each other off, but I did know one thing. They came all over me. It was the hottest, dirtiest encounter I’d had in a long time.

“Turn the fuck around so I can hold you and you can hold me because my heart feels like it’s breaking in two right now.”