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i have a terrible habit of writing myself braver than i’ll ever be, & i’m not sure which of us i’m trying to convince— you, or me.
in one of our many worlds existed a girl who couldn’t handle how very sad & confusing life could be, so she approached one of her many overstuffed bookshelves, got up on her tippy-toes, & pleaded to the dozens of warped & well-loved spines, “i want nothing more in this world than to be one of you.” miraculously, the books listened. they more than listened. from that day on, they took her in & raised her as one of their own. each night while she was supposed to be sleeping, the girl’s new family scribbled her into fairy tales about princesses & witches & even her favorite fantastical creature:
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it should be safe for little girls to ride their little yellow bikes around the block without someone ending up in handcuffs. - wanted.
“maybe i’m not the book you dog-ear & keep with you always,” the girl murmured, pulling her sleeves over her hands. “maybe i’m the book you forget to bookmark & leave on the train.” - shrinking violets like us.
can’t a prince a princess a n y o n e just come along & gaze upon me with such adoration it’s as if i’m the gem of the deep, not the rubble of pompeii? - when will it be my turn?
in search of someone who made her feel like she belonged in this world, she went on countless journeys expeditions voyages. - it was always the girl through the looking glass.
she didn’t kiss frogs. she kissed great white sharks.
you weren’t the first one to tell me they would kiss my scars so pretty, but you were certainly the first i believed. - now i know you can’t fix someone else.
i don’t mean to frighten you, but i would seriously consider drinking the atlantic whole if only you asked me to. - what wouldn’t i do for you?
you’re the kind of intriguing that inspired thousand-page epics. - how many centuries have you lived?
the first time you take me home & introduce me to your parents, your father takes one look at me & says, “that girl looks like she’s much too smart for her own good.” - why wasn’t i smart enough to stay away from you?
a smile. irresistible lashes. a dark room. legs tangled. peace. - this is how i’d like to remember you.
“when our villains win, do not fret. just rewrite the story.” - mother knows best II.
i don’t write what i write to hurt you. - i write what i write to heal me.
breathe. charge my crystals. collect seashells. write a little each day. take more bubble baths. say “hello” to the fairies. drink more spearmint tea. re-read my favorite fairy tales. let no one invalidate me. give myself time. - i vow to.
for our assignment, we had to take ourselves out on a date. i went to a flower shop named in the garden & bought myself a bouquet of wilting daisies everyone else turned down & i attached a love note from myself to read later. i went up the street to water witch coffee & picked up two danishes only i would be eating, & before dinner, no less. i made a pot of coffee big enough for four & i stood outside, mug perched in hand, staring into the thin, winter-bare forest in my backyard. for what, i must admit i’m not entirely certain. i’m no longer searching for reasons or explanations for the past.
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“be stronger than the villains. be every storybook heroine come to life.” - mother knows best III.
a chorus of mermaids cried out to her then, ‘DON’T BE AFRAID TO SING. BELT IT OUT. YOUR VOICE COULD SINK SPACESHIPS.’
someone mistreats you again & you reply the same way you always do (“oh, it’s alright. i’m used to it by now.”) before looking down at your shoes. it’s there that i will write an invisible reminder to you: don’t ever take anyone’s bullshit. if they treat you as anything less than royalty, then show them exactly what a mermaid-witch-queen like yourself can accomplish. - slay those dragons II.
renegade /'re-ni-ga-d/ noun 1: someone who loves themselves despite the falsehoods the world spills into them. - & if you can’t love yourself yet, you still deserve love from others.
you worry so much about the comfort of others that you cannot remember a time when you did something just for yourself. - you are worth spoiling.
soon they will have chopped down all the trees & with them all the b e a u t i f u l w o r d s , s o - write the story II.
“be victorious in everything you do. disturb the gods, if that’s what it takes. & maybe especially then.” - mother knows best IV.
