Go See the Principal: True Tales from the School Trenches

by Gerry Brooks

teaching can be stressful, even when you love it.

Teachers often have to sacrifice up to six weeks of daily instruction to cram required assessments into their school days.

We have to remember that there are valid reasons for people’s opinions.

the one who needs little reminders like “No, your child’s not gifted. He ain’t no prodigy.”

These parents are always going to blame you for everything.

Don’t be bringin’ no carrots to a birthday party. I’m serious.

“Why I got to bring in some coffee filters as a school supply?” Because I said so. Boom.

they don’t understand that if the student doesn’t bring that stuff in, then it lands in the school’s lap—or even the teacher’s personal wallet—to supply them.

No, we’re not calling her and singing “Soft Kitty.”

past third grade, they lose some of that innocence. They get a bit mouthier,

for those of you who forget to take attendance daily. You know who you are!)

A teacher would much rather help a parent than have to reteach a child.

Susie, your mom thinks you’re gifted—get over there and try to tie his shoes, okay?

Okay, look, you’re going to use your nose-picking finger

when teachers feel like their time is protected and their administration wants to support them, everything else falls into place.

while we welcome parents to come in occasionally and eat with their children, the rule is that the kids can’t bring friends over—yet we have parents who break that rule.

Parents who request that their child’s lunch be heated up in a microwave should be fined $500. Just sayin’.

Hello. Ma’am, I see you right there in them curtains. Open this door. Get over here and open this door. I see your shadow right here under the door. Open the door. Open the door! I see your eyes in the peep hole. I know you can hear me.

we know that if children don’t get help then, it will be an even bigger issue as they get older.

Ten ways to tell a parent her child is not really gifted

“Mr. Brown, Steven’s mama called. She would like you to spend three or four hours gathering homework two weeks early, so he can go on vacation, and don’t forget a reading log so she can sign it and act like her child read, even though he didn’t.”

What do you mean you sent medicine in his pocket? Billy, you got some medicine in your pocket? What did you do with it? He gave it out on the school bus. Great. So now I got a sick drug dealer up in the school nurse office.

If I had a dollar for every time somebody said, “It must be nice to get paid to not work over the summer,” I could buy a lot of hot dogs.

You may not always remember their names, but you will always remember those moments with those kids.

NMB: Stands for “Not My Baby”—AKA the parent who doesn’t believe her child has ever done anything wrong. It’s always the teacher’s fault, or another student’s fault,

You will fail at many things during your first year of teaching, and that’s okay! Every teacher has been there.

Let’s be honest, you know that stack of papers you bring home every weekend never makes it out of your car.