Out in the Offense (Out in College #3)

by Lane Hayes

“You can talk to me, Max. It’s not weird at all,” I said sincerely. Max threw his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me against his side. “Good. I’m really glad we can be honest with each other ’cause I have something to say to you. Are you listening?” I wiggled out of his hold and punched his bicep. “No, I’m not.” “You should, ’cause I’m about to give you some great advice.” “What is it?” “Fuck the tutor.” “Excuse me?” I asked incredulously. “You heard me. Fuck him. Let him fill your brain with numbers and equations and then ask him to fill your—” “Do not say another word,” I growled, taking another peek around the deserted gym. “I’m stating the obvious, dude. You need sex more than anyone I know. If you have a crush on the guy, why not see if he feels the same? The worst he can say is no.”

Rory turned his palms over for me to inspect. “They’re lines from a Pablo Neruda poem. This one says, ‘En mí todo ese fuego se repite’ and this says, ‘En mí nada se apaga ni se olvida.’ The translation is, ‘In me all this fire is repeated’ and ‘In me nothing is extinguished or forgotten.’ The poem is called ‘If You Forget Me,’ and it’s poignant as fuck. If you don’t know it, look it up.”

Maybe I’d feel a pang of regret later, because surely begging my sexy tutor to fuck me wasn’t my best life choice. However, at that moment it seemed pretty fucking inspired. And he seemed like the best thing that had ever come my way.

Rory squinted, then pointed at my chest. “Nobody is as invested in your life as you. Period. Not your mom, your dad, or best fuckin’ friend. Nobody else walks in your shoes or sees through your eyes or feels what you do. Even when they want to, they can’t.

“Okay, but what are the rules?” I squatted with my hands on my knees the way I might if I was at the line of scrimmage on a football field waiting for the ref to blow the whistle. “My boy likes rules,” Rory said with a grin. I lifted an eyebrow in amusement. “Your boy?” “Yeah. You’re mine. Don’t argue.” I held his gaze for a long moment and then smiled. “Okay.”

Three oh five in the afternoon, November 15th. This was the day I truly fell in love with Rory.

“I love you,” I blurted. “I—” “No. Please, let me talk. Everything around me is crashing and burning. I have to wait till the smoke clears to see what’s left, but to be honest…I don’t really care. Yeah, I’ll be sad if my football career is over, but it’s gonna end someday anyway. And I’m trying to come to grips with the idea that my family life as I knew it is over. I can’t change myself to make my parents happy. This is who I am. And I think I’m gonna be okay. But I’ll be a million times better with you.”

“Wait. Let me say everything. You told me you’d fight for me. You said you’d stand by me. I knew I had to work through the BS on my own. So I stood up in front of a bunch of old guys in suits and I thought to myself, ‘What would Rory do?’ And you know what? I kicked ass and I have no regrets. You’re my rock, my teacher, my friend. I want to be that for you too. For the rest of our lives. I don’t care where we live, what we do…I just want you.”