Research has shown that people who are more able to defuse from their judgments of others tend to be more satisfied with their long-term relationships. It is far easier to love a fantasy than a person. When we use our flexibility skills to stay connected and be understanding even when our mind is telling us to lash out at or create distance from our partners, they sense the love and safety that flexibility provides. That is likely why our partners are more satisfied when we are more accepting of our difficult thoughts and feelings, both about ourselves and about them. The primary reason for
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