Brené says that when we feel shame we do several things. First, we try to be perfect. We think that if we can just get thinner, smarter, more successful, then we’ll feel OK and people will love us and we won’t get hurt. When that doesn’t work – and it never does – we try another approach: we numb our feelings of shame. We watch television. We drink. We eat too much. We take drugs. Brown thinks that numbing is why obesity, addiction and depression are so rife. Then when the numbing and the perfectionism doesn’t work, we go down the third route: we cut ourselves off, shut down our feelings,
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