Surrounded by Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behaviour (or, How to Understand Those Who Cannot Be Understood)

by Thomas Erikson

I was in high school when I first noticed that I got along better with certain people rather than others. It was easy to talk to some of my friends; in any conversation, we always found the right words and everything just flowed smoothly.

Why was speaking to some people so easy, while others were total blockheads?

So I simply began to avoid these weird, difficult people because I didn’t understand them.

immediately began to study how to understand the people who initially seem so difficult. Why are some people silent, why do others never stop talking, why do some people always tell the truth while others never do? Why do some of my colleagues always arrive on time, while others rarely manage to? And even why did I like some people more than others? The insights I gained were fascinating, and I’ve never been the same since I began this journey. The knowledge I acquired has changed me as a person, as a friend, as a colleague, as a son, as a husband, and as the father of my children.

Does that sound strange? Let me explain. Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas. What remains is ultimately the message that he understands.

For many different reasons, he can interpret what you want to convey in a totally different way than you intended.

By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication.

You help other people understand you by creating a secure arena for communication—on their terms. Then the listener can use his energy to understand rather than to consciously or unconsciously react to your manner of communicating.

“We see what we do, but we do not see why we do what we do. Thus, we assess and appraise each other through what we see that we do.”

Words can have incredible power, but the words we choose and how we use them vary.

is understandable. We should be able to understand why people feel and do what they do—right now. Everyone can think about why.

excusable. Dismiss personal jealousy and complaints. Learn to have tolerance and patience, both with yourself and with others.

My relative had probably been badly fooled a number of times and therefore learned to distrust salespeople. However, if she had a number of positive experiences her opinion could change.

people around you most often see your moderated behavior. You interpret a specific situation and make a choice about how to act based on that evaluation—this is the behavior that others around you experience. It’s all about the mask you wear to fit into a given situation.

If you think about it, they’re often right. When other people may find it difficult to make a decision, Reds are prepared to make quick decisions in order to keep things moving. With a Red on the team, nothing will be discussed ad infinitum. After all, it’s always better to do something rather than nothing, right?

Nothing is impossible. The impossible just takes a little longer.

The reason is simple: A Red usually doesn’t care what others think. He’s not here for their sake—he’s here for his own.

A Red gives everything he’s got. When he has an opinion about something or if he wants the rest of us to agree with him, he pulls out all the stops.

Or, in the words of a good friend of mine: There are two ways to do this—my way and the wrong way.

Generally speaking, a Red’s strengths are very powerful. They are extremely clear in their communication, and you don’t have to look far to identify Red behavior. Of course, over the years many Reds learn to restrain themselves somewhat, but it doesn’t usually last very long. They’ll be back to full throttle—and all that that entails.

Yellow behavior. These are people who live to live, always finding opportunities for enjoyment. Life is a banquet, and Yellows will see to it that they savor every bite. They are driven by merriment and laughter. And why not? The sun is always shining somewhere. Do you know anyone who sees sunshine where others see dark clouds? Have you met anyone who can laugh even though he hasn’t had any good news for months? Then you’ve met a Yellow. Have you been at a party and wondered why everyone flocks around a particular person, man or woman? Well, in the center of the circle there’s a Yellow, entertaining anyone who wants to laugh.

Yellow behavior is simply contagious.

Just like Reds, Yellows have lots of energy. They find most things interesting, and Yellow individuals are the most curious people you’ll ever meet. Everything new is enjoyable, and a great deal of Yellow energy is spent finding new ways of doing things.

Yellow individuals give joy to the people around them with their cheerful acclamations and entertaining jokes.

Everyone must be involved, and a Yellow will not allow anyone to be gloomy.

Yellows have the unique ability to twist and turn things. To put it simply, they turn everything upside down and think outside the box.

Sometimes they can even find it difficult to explain their wild ideas.

I’ve worked with a Yellow who couldn’t even cross the street without coming up with a few really thought-provoking business ideas—just by looking around. How does this work? I don’t really know. For a long time, we asked him to write down his proposals. You’ll learn more about how a Yellow would react to that kind of structure when we start talking about weaknesses.

Yellows—a noticeable interest in another person, the ability to ask exactly the right questions so that others feel that they are important.

Reds ask what is going to be done, Yellows want to know immediately who will do it.

Reds are stressed performance seekers, Yellows are creative bon vivant guys, and Blues are perfectionist Knights of Excel Spreadsheets (see pages 13 and 14), Greens are the most balanced.

And where Blues get caught up in details, Greens try to feel their way to what is right.

You can’t ignore the fact that Greens are more passive than others. They’re not as driven as Reds, not as resourceful as Yellows, and not as orderly as Blues. This describes most of the population. For this very reason, they are easy to deal with. They let you be yourself. They don’t demand much, and they never kick up a fuss unnecessarily.

They usually strive to fit in, which makes them more balanced people. They’re ideal for calming down confused Yellows, for example. And they’re excellent at warming up Blues, who, on occasion, can indeed be a tad too cold.

It’s often said that Greens are the best listeners, and this is true. A Green will always be more interested in you than in himself, and if perchance he should be interested in himself he would never dream of showing it. You often find Greens in the public sector, where they help others, with no concern for personal gain. They are also pronounced team players. The team, the group, the family, always comes before the individual, and I would even say that societies consisting of Greens will always take care of the sick and the weak. They will not leave a friend in need; you can call them at any time. They always offer a shoulder to cry on.

Change isn’t their greatest strength, even though change isn’t completely foreign to them.

If a Green says that he will do something, you can be confident that he’ll do it. If it’s in his power to deliver, he will. It won’t be done in the shortest amount of time possible, but it will show up in your inbox roughly within the expected time frame. Greens don’t want to be caught failing to deliver, as this might cause trouble for others. And because they’re good team players, they don’t want to do anything that can cause problems for the team. Team comes before self, the team being the company, crew, football team, or family. For the Green, it’s natural to look after everyone else around them.

Greens hear what you’re actually saying. They have a genuine ear for human problems. They might not offer any suggestions or solutions, but they understand what you’ve told them. Don’t assume that means that they agree with you—but they are good listeners.

This can manifest itself in various ways. It’s a fact that for the Blue, the trip is more important than the destination, exactly the opposite of a Red.

Sometimes a Blue can even completely refrain from starting something because he can’t assess the risks.

My point is this: A Blue is prepared to dive deep to get everything exactly 100 percent correct.

Blues argue that if they’re going to do something, they must do it correctly.

Quiet on the outside, but under the surface anything could be happening. “Introverted” doesn’t mean silent; it means active in the inner world. But the effect of this is often quiet.

Yellows, don’t feel the need to be heard. Sitting in a corner and not being seen or heard makes no difference to them. They are observers, spectators, more than central characters. They can find themselves at the edge of a group where they observe and record everything that is said.

There are others we don’t understand at all, no matter what the situation is. And the most difficult to interact with are those who aren’t like us, because they obviously behave “incorrectly.”

wise person once said that “just because you’re right, I don’t have to be wrong.”

It’s important to remember that communication usually takes place on the recipient’s terms.

Good qualities can become drawbacks in the wrong circumstances, no matter what the quality is.

“Say what you think!” But as soon as you do, you find yourself in the middle of a heated discussion with an angry Red.

Because the way Reds communicate is so blunt and so direct, many perceive them as aggressive.