The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose

by Oprah Winfrey

I think life is a process. You wake up. Then you wake up some more. One self dies. Another is born. It’s an evolution of consciousness.

Some people stop their lives because they are in recovery. But you should be in recovery and discovery at the same time.

Your life is always speaking to you. It speaks in whispers, guiding you to your next right step. And in many situations, the whisper is also the first warning. It’s a quiet nudge from deep within saying, Hmm, something feels off. A small voice that tells you, This is no longer your place of belonging. It’s the pit in your stomach, or the pause before you speak. It’s the shiver, the goose-bumps that raise the hairs on the back of your neck.

Life is about growth and change, and when you are no longer doing either, you’ve received your first whisper. Pay attention to what makes you feel energized, connected, and stimulated. Follow your intuition, do what you love, and you will do more than succeed.

The ultimate care of the soul is being identified with the life that wants to live through you. So at any point, your life may give a hint that you should be moving on—maybe to a different job or even a different marriage. And if you hold back on that and say, “No, that would disrupt me,” you would be deciding to say no to life. I think that’s where the soul gets wounded most. Your individuality comes from your soul. Not from your head. It comes from allowing life to live through you.

“The more important an activity is to your soul’s evolution, the more resistance you will feel to it.”

For every dream, there is automatically going to be resistance. But your sheer will and desire can be stronger than the shadow. You get to decide. You get to declare, I want this, and confront the fear head-on.

We say, I know how to be broke and poor and struggle and suffer and be angry. I know how to do that. But when it comes to being open and vulnerable—because the core ingredient of trust is vulnerability—that’s unfamiliar.

I have adults in therapy in their forties and fifties terrified when they’re facing bankruptcy or a divorce or when life throws a curve at them. It is because they believe they will be nothing and they’re so afraid to confront that emptiness. Little realizing that just beneath emptiness is the vast expanse of their spirit.

There’s a shift that takes place when you’re talking about the possibilities more than you’re talking about your issues. With your issues, your energy goes into the lower frequencies. Doubt. Worry. Fear. Now you’re in that sediment. You’re in that dynamic. But if you start talking about possibility, even if you don’t know how to get there, then your energy starts to go up. Ask a what if question. What if all my needs were met? What would I be doing in my life? What if everything is really working together for my good? What if all the bad things that have happened in my life are leading me to activating some great potential in my experience?

Management is telling somebody what to do. Leadership is inspiring them to do it. And inspiration, for me, comes from three areas. It’s the clarity of one’s vision, the courage of one’s conviction, and the ability to effectively communicate both of those things.

“What follows ‘I am’ is what we’re inviting into our life.” Meaning when you use phrases like,“I am exhausted,” or, “I am overwhelmed,” you are inviting exactly that kind of energy into your life. The moment I shifted my perspective from I am struggling to I am honored, my climb was transformed from an arduous trek into a still challenging but now stimulating adventure,

For a marriage to be successful, you’ve got to have someone who wants you to grow into who you really are.

We always talk about marriage as a creative act. You’re creating something new in the world. For many people, that becomes heavy. It becomes, Well, let’s just try to stay together. Duty. Obligation. As opposed to, We get to make something with this life.

Sometimes you have to see things through, even though they don’t cause you joy. But sometimes you need to say, You know what? I’m not going to surrender my joy. I’m not going to be this thing anymore. That story is no longer true. I’m going to be this other thing. This other way.

I think the greatest wound we’ve all experienced is somehow being rejected for being our authentic self. And as a result of that, we then try to be what we’re not to get approval, love, protection, safety, money, whatever. And the real need for all of us is to reconnect with the essence of who we really are and reown all the disowned parts of ourselves, whether it’s our emotions, our spirituality, whatever. We all go around hiding parts of ourselves.

But the mastery you achieve and who you became in the process of achieving those things can never be taken away. Never.

ELLEN DEGENERES I’m in a relationship now where I have equal love. I love her and she loves me. We respect each other. We’re kind and gentle to each other. And, as someone once said, it’s wonderful to be loved, but it’s profound to be understood.

I resolved to continually ask myself, How am I making things more difficult than they need to be? Your answer to that same question is the next step in your path. It’s that simple.