This Is How It Always Is

by Laurie Frankel

How’s it hangin’?” “How’s … what hanging?” “It’s an expression,” Ben explained. “It’s how guys ask each other how they are.” “Why don’t they just say ‘How are you?’” “They don’t want to get beat up.” Claude’s eyes were wide. “Guys get beat up for asking how you are?” “Guys get beat up for everything. Asking how you are. Caring how you are. Using big words. Pronouncing them correctly. Wearing colorful things.” “Really?” “Oh yeah. And that’s just the beginning. If you’re too smart, too dumb, too cool, too worried about being cool, too nicely dressed, too hiply dressed, not hiply enough dressed, listening to the wrong music, listening to the right music on the wrong device, asking stupid questions in class, asking smart questions in class, asking questions in class that lead to more work in class, slow in gym, nice to a little kid, nice to a teacher, nice to your mom on school grounds, too good with computers, too often reading, or discovered during a field trip to Washington, DC, to be in your hotel room watching a movie with subtitles, if you’re a guy, someone’s going to beat you up.”