When you sit down in private with a person who has caused or perpetuated harm and work very hard to create conditions of acceptance, that is when you can see what is operating to keep that system of power in place. Depending on where they are in their own development, either the person can hear the harm, recognize it as part of a larger system not just intellectually but empathically, express their own inner need to make things right and be grateful that they can be held in that change, or they cannot handle knowing that they have hurt another person. Shame-evasion behavior can become apparent
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