The Unhoneymooners (Unhoneymooners, #1)

by Christina Lauren

I want to say something sassy, but the only coherent thought that comes to mind is how insulting it is that eyelashes like his were wasted on Satan’s Errand Boy,

lol

Those of us who aren’t summoned by the Dark Mark consider honesty to be a virtue.”

lol ok

Half of Ethan’s mouth turns up, and I know what’s coming before it launches: “You think I’m cute.” “In a gross way.” This makes him smile wider. “Cute in a gross way. Okay.”

Sureeee

“I can appreciate my body in a bikini and still want to set fire to the patriarchy.”

Hell yeah

“You checked out my chest.” “Of course I did. It’s like having two other people up here with us. I don’t want to be rude.”

Hahahah

Individually Ethan and I are above-average intelligent people, so why are we so stupid together?

LOL

“I want you to know,” I tell him as I tug it down my torso, “and I’m sure you hear this a lot, but that was by far the worst sexual experience of my life.” “I feel like we should have used protection.”

Bahahaha

A true nemesis doesn’t show weakness, and for sure, when I reach out to rub his back, a true nemesis wouldn’t lean into it, moaning in quiet relief. He wouldn’t shift so that I could reach him more easily, and he certainly wouldn’t scoot down the bench and rest his head in my lap, staring up at me in gratitude when I gently rake my fingers through his hair, soothing. Ethan and I are starting to build more of these good moments than bad; it sends the balance swinging into an unfamiliar direction. And I think I really like it. Which makes me incredibly uneasy. “I still hate you,” I tell him, pushing a dark curl of hair off his forehead. He nods. “I know you do.”

Ooooo he didn't say it back!!!!

“It’s so exhausting pretending to hate you.” This pulls me up short, and—even though I know it now, the truth of it still blows through me—I ask, “So you don’t hate me?” “Nope.” He shakes his head dramatically. “Never did.”

Ahhhhhh

“Did you forget your words, Elvis?” “It was good,” he manages, and rolls his eyes but I can see him fighting a smile, too. “Good how?” His jaw ticks, like he wants to argue with me about why I’m asking him this when I was obviously there, too, but the heat in his eyes tells me he’s just as turned on as I am, and is willing to play along. “It was the kind of kiss that feels like fucking.”

Ooooooo

“I asked you something earlier.” “I know.” We’re just having a vacation fling, aren’t we? Oh, is that all this is? He goes quiet again; obviously he doesn’t have to repeat what he said. But I don’t feel entirely sure where my head is on this particular issue. “I’m… thinking.” “Think out loud,” he says. “With me.”

Okayyyyy

“Excuse me,” Ethan says to a woman in a passing group. “Would you mind taking a photo of me and my girlfriend?” Okay… maybe it’s time to run back to the hotel room.

Ahhhh yesss

I am a homebody, through and through, and there’s nothing like being home.

Me too

“I’m trying to grand-gesture. For the right person. Remember when we had delicious mai tais?” He nods to the cup. “Of course I remember.” “That day, I believe, was the day I fell in love with you.”

Stop hes winning me back too…